Fought our 6 year old for a year to our absolute wits end over bedtime. Now we made a deal that works, but I'm afraid it's a selfish one.

We made a deal with her. You are in your room after 8:30. The rest of the night is mom and dad time. Stay in there and you can play with your toys or read/look at books as late as you want.She just wasn't sleeping. She stopped napping at 2 years old and since then has only napped if she's sick. So once night comes around she is overtired as fuck. She turns into a nightmare. Running out of her room, offering up toys for fun when we threaten to take them away, picking her up without a word and putting her back in just became a game to her.So we figured, if we are going to fight with her from 8 to 10 or 11 every night, why not just let her stay awake those hours in her room. She's up just as late, but she's calm, no one is stressed, no one is yelling or crying.For a couple weeks it's worked, but she just passes out wherever she is. On her floor, at the end of her bed uncovered, hanging off the bed. It doesn't look comfortable or restful, but she falls asleep on her own by 9:30 or 10, sometimes earlier.I'm just worried that we may be setting a bad habit. I mean, I truly feel like she's going to be a night owl anyway. But she definitely doesn't get 10 hours of sleep before school, and she's not the kind of kid to fall asleep earlier the next day because of less sleep the previous night.Are we doing an OK trade off? She is getting more sleep than she was, and she's calm leading up to it. If she isn't going to get as much sleep as she may need, at least it can be a more peaceful rest right? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2bwospC

We could use some help with our momma's boy of a toddler.

Our son, who is 3.5, has always been sort of clingy with his mom, but it's gotten even worse lately. She's a gymnastics instructor, and so has a mix of morning and evening shifts and some weekend afternoons. When she works evenings he's at home along with myself and our daughter, who is seven.When Mom isn't around, he's a great little guy: lots of fun, very kind, gets along well (most of the time) with his sister, who was not anywhere near this clingy when she was younger. The kids have been for week-long trips with my parents or my wife's with no problems.Whenever my wife is around, though, he has a very hard time being out of her arms. Whenever he wakes up at night, he's asking for Mom right away, and if I try to help out, it's usually at least a half hour battle before I can get him to stop crying for Mom and settle down. If he wakes up again an hour later it's the same thing.I'm sure my wife's schedule has exacerbated the problem; there were a few months this spring where the kids literally didn't see her for two days a week, due to how early/late she started. However, her schedule has been much less demanding for a few months now, and his behaviour has not changed at all.Has anyone ran into this kind of selective clinginess before? We're not sure the best way to address it. If anyone has ideas I'd be grateful. Feel free to ask for more details.Thanks via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2bzrOp7

Oh Crap! Potty Training - anyone else start early?

Kiddo is 19mo. I decided she is capable of learning because when she soiled a diaper, she'd get a clean one and try to put it on herself (over the dirty one). Then she'd be really upset that someone changed her. She also had been waking up from overnight dry. She also can communicate hunger, thirst, etc.We started Oh Crap! Potty Training method on Friday and here on Day 4 we are still in Block One. When she has to poop, she runs frantically around trying to find a private spot (under a table, etc.) until the poop just falls out of her. She's peeing on the floor in sprinkles, but we had two good solid pees in the potty yesterday and two today so far.I am suspecting my kid might be extra sensitive to correction. When we say firmly, "pee doesn't go on the floor. Pee goes in the potty" she loses it crying, sometimes throwing herself on the floor.tl;dr questions:How can we slow her down during pooping freak out time?The book method specifies no rewards, but I'm struggling to see the difference in a reward vs. a special item kid gets when on the potty. We also are cycling through our "special items" so fucking fast my head is spinning.If anyone can offer any insight, I'd love it. I assume we're supposed to be going bananas and bouncing off the walls at this point, but still hoping for encouragement. Thank you! via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2bVdDP7

"Me and [sister] need $25 each by tomorrow and planners or we get Fs in 2 classes". Happy back to school, parents!!

That's the first text I get from my daughter on her first day of school. Cracks me up. High School is such a pain. They will come home tonight with a giant list of school supplies that despite how hard I tried to stock up on everything over the summer, will be woefully inadequate.How's everyone else's back to school going? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2bDFX6b

6yo daughter referred to RTI program at school. Need help understanding and next steps!

We received a letter from our daughter's school that she has been identified as a candidate for the RTI (can't remember what that stands for) program. There's not a lot of explanation in the letter - no criteria, indicators, test results, etc. that explain why or how they came to this decision. I started googling more about the program and it says it is for kids who have learning or behavioral needs. My daughter is very smart, but I can see that it is sometimes harder for her to focus when someone is directing her to do something. She is not hyperactive and has no problem staying on task or focused on one thing for extended periods of time when it is something she has decided to do herself.I have called and emailed the person whose signature is at the bottom of the letter but have not received a response. We need to know more about what's going on, why they have decided this, what issues are present, and what the plan is so that we can help at home. Of course the lady's mailbox is full. We recently moved from a school that was not well-ranked (3/10) to one of the best elementary schools in the state (10/10). Is it possible the preschool and kindergarten background my daughter received just isn't up to par with the new school and she needs help catching up or does this mean there is something more going on. Should we have her seen by a doctor or specialist?Any help or experience you have to share would be greatly appreciated! If I don't hear from the person on the letter today, I will send a note back to her teacher tomorrow. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2bMvhFE

What are your red flags for dating as a single parent, new to dating am I just being paranoid?

I recently started being open to the idea of dating again, I began talking to someone but am struggling with what red flags are and what is me being paranoid. When I was a young parent I put my oldest child and myself in a not so great situation with a partner (the one I divorced). I'm very nervous to put my kids in a bad situation again but almost feel like I am being hyper sensitive.I suffer from anxiety and ptsd so it can be hard for me to determine sometimes if I'm over thinking or just being smart. With my children I would rather aire on the side of caution, but in the same respect I don't want to give up something great for nothing because I'm second guessing something innocent.Ex: went on a few dates with new guy. I am not able to get out much or often as kids dad doesn't really see them. New guy tells me he doesn't mind if I bring kids along he is good with kids, likes them, Yada Yada... my brain hears "what normal guy is like that? Why does he want to meet them so soon? Maybe he is a pedo".....I decided that in that event that I was over reacting, eventually took them to park and had him meet us there. We walked and played with them. He was very good to them. Towards the end we were taking about how I'd like to take them out like this more but with my schedule it can be hard to do it as much as is like. He is off work earlier than I am so he followed up with, "well I'd they get more used to me, I can take them out like this all the time. I go for walks and to the park daily" (which he does, we've talked wow a bit about this and had a few park dates).Again though my "what's this guy's problem" meter went off in my head. Am I over thinking, or is this a red flag? I decided to watch and wait with him. Contact with kids only while I am there obviously and just keep my eyes and ears open to any major game stoppers.So please feel free to weigh in on this, I won't take offense and also what are your dating red flags? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2byhxtw

5 months in and I don't think I'm cut out for this - Rant/rambling

My daughter just turned 5 months recently. The first few months were great, although I felt myself slipping away a little at a time. I kept thinking I'll just catch up later at some point. Recently I have felt like I no longer exist as my own person, and I'm not even sure what to do about it.I wake up every morning and go to a job I hate. I spend hours there doing as little work as possible just to not get fired, but I think my boss is starting to catch on, and now I'm worried about my job. I recently got prescribed Ritalin because my doctor was concerned about my description of how I act at work and had me take a pre-screening test for ADD/ADHD. I am apparently at a pretty high risk of having it, so I'm going to be getting a more thorough test soon. The medication is helping a bit, but I still hate the job and have no desire to work.I leave work in the evening to head home, and once I get there our caretaker leaves. I have my daughter to myself for anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour, depending on when my wife gets home. During that time I have no opportunity to rest since that tends to be when she is fully awake and wants me to sing to her, or play with her. I do enjoy this time with her, but it's a bit exhausting right after I get home.Once my wife gets home, I'm getting dinner ready for us while she feeds the baby. We don't do anything complicated these days, but it still takes some time even if I'm just making spaghetti and meatballs. My wife's hands and wrists are killing her due to tendonitis and carpal tunnel that stems from breastfeeding. So once dinner is ready and we sit down, I generally hold the baby while we eat, since she doesn't like it when we put her in her highchair. We'll finish dinner and my wife will clear the dishes and clean up while I handle our LO.After dinner is cleared and away, the two of us will play with LO for a while, usually for another hour or two. We generally only stop the playtime when she needs to eat again. While wife feeds her, she constantly needs to ask me for things which I feel the need to obligate the requests because hey, she's feeding our child and making sure she survives. The least I can do is get her a drink, a snack, the remote, her phone, etc.At this point, it's about 10pm and we're starting to get LO ready for bed. How that goes depends on the night, so it can take anywhere from 15 minutes to 2 hours, but either way, once she is down, we're both exhausted and crawl into bed.Weekends are generally packed with things that need to get done around the house and taking care of the LO, or trying to do something fun as a family. This weekend was awful, mostly because my wife recognized that I was about to lose it. She decided to try and let me relax, but I don't really know how to anymore. Even when we would all sit down to just read/watch tv/whatever and she would take our daughter, it was still the issue of a constant request for items or help with something.So anyway, amidst all of my complaints and ranting, I guess my generally point is that I don't feel like a person anymore. I'm a husband/father/employee who doesn't have the opportunity or ability to relax and be himself anymore. Does anyone else have this issue? Does it get better? Any advice?Oh, there's also a ton of emotional issues going on because of some shit happening with my parents that just makes everything worse. It has caused my wife and I to really have trouble even talking anymore because I just don't know how to deal with any of that either.Tl;dr - I'm lost. Part of me just wants out of the whole husband/father thing, but more than that, I need help relaxing. Please help. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2bwotLY