New mom-probably a silly question

I recently had my first baby and we have her pediatrician's appointment soon. When going to things like this, are you just supposed to carry the car seat in or bring the baby in the stroller? The stroller seems big and might get in the way, but the car seat is a little heavy for me to carry right now, as I am still physically recovering from giving birth. I also don't want to seem weird if I do the wrong thing! Thank you for any advice. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/3aQYTeu

My almost 4 year old son has a habit of telling me he loves me when I'm wiping his ass.

Obviously it's really sweet and reminds me why I'm willing to wipe this humans shit out of his crack but god damn its awkward lol. Just the way he says in a soft high pitch voice "daddy...I love you" right as the toilet paper in my hand is about to touch the brown bullseye. Oh the joys of parenting...Edit: just so we're all on the same page, I'm aware it's a good sign that he is so aware of his feelings, and in turn, my feelings while doing something unenjoyable. I'm just sharing a funny story that I am excited to tell him when hes older. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2VPIwL6

Would you let your 16 yr old daughter go to Denmark for 2 weeks with her boyfriend and his family?!?!

My daughter is smart, responsible and caring. She works, gets straight A’s and is in marching band and charities. She has been with her boyfriend for one year. He is a nice boy. Her boyfriends family loves and adores my daughter. The boyfriend and his family are all from Denmark. They are fluent in Dutch and the trip to Denmark will involve visiting their family members. (I will not let her go if this covid thing is still going strong) so my question is, would YOU let your daughter go? For the cultural experience? The adventure? It is a once in lifetime opportunity, but I am fearful to not be with her. Should my fear of the unknown keep her from going? Please help me decide! Thanks via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2Wc6gI3

Worried about raising a socially awkward kid

I'm expecting and I have a brand new anxiety to bother with since all the old anxieties weren't enough.My husband and I have both been weirdoes all our lives. We've never belonged with anyone but each other, not even our families all that much. He had some trauma as a teenager which took a lot of time to get over, and I had mental illnesses all through my teens and early twenties.So we didn't really learn to socialize and even when we do, we aren't very good at it. We have some friends. I am very good at being social in a superficial way, so I have a lot of acquaintances but few friends.Neither of us are anxious about being social, we rather like people and social situations. We just aren't very good at it. We work hard at this stuff and we even took up therapy, but really, it doesn't feel like a skill that can be taught. It's just something we can get better at with practice, but we don't really have many people to practice with, and the current situation doesn't help. Also my mental health issues means it takes me a lot of time to finish my work, and it's difficult to make time to socialize in general. I also cut out a lot of the toxic people in my life, so my social circle has become much smaller.Anyway we're expecting and we are very happy. We are very confident for the most part. We have a lot of help from our families and both our moms have great skills with raising kids as they are educators, so most things don't bother us.The thing that is currently on my mind is that our lack of social life might end up affecting our kids. We aren't great at making people like us and hang out with us repeatedly. We also don't have great social skills despite our efforts, and worry we'll be terrible at helping our kids in social situations. We don't want people to treat our kids differently because of us, and we don't want our kids copying our bad social behaviors.We are willing to put in effort if we need to to become better, but we don't know what to do or where to go to learn to be better or to even learn what we're doing wrong. I see a therapist for mental health issues and she isn't sure how to help me. We read books, and it helps some, but how much can a book tell you how to talk to people?Is this a big deal as a parent? My parents and his are incredibly social and everyone loves them, so that seems like "ideal parent qualities" to both of us.It's also not a hereditary issue like ASD we have, so I'm not worried about passing it on. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2KMTYRi

Found a way to get my 5 and 7 year olds to practice handwriting

I just folded some blank paper in half and stapled to make a book."Who wants to make their own book?"Ive been failing at getting them to practice handwriting this month. This one finally got them to enthusiastically dive into a handwriting project. They both decided to make comic books. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2WgDGWe

I lost my cool today

I was putting my 11 month old son down for a nap. Usually it’s a 5 minute process and he’s out for between30-60 minutes. If he’s teething sometimes it’s more, but within 5 more minutes of giving him Tylenol he’s out.This morning it was 45 minutes of screaming, crying, kicking. I’ve never, EVER experienced this before from him. I became so overwhelmed and frustrated like I’ve never felt. Twice I put him in the crib and ran out of the room, almost crying myself. The second tome when I came back in I said (loudly enough to hear myself over him) that this is enough and I can’t take it anymore! About 15 minutes after that he finally fell asleep but was wimpering still, so I let him sleep on me in the chair (something we haven’t done in a long, long time).After he was asleep I caught myself almost crying again because I couldn’t believe how quickly that frustration and overwhelming feeling took over. I couldn’t believe I raised my voice to him! And also that I couldn’t help him stop crying this time, that he was helplessly alone in figuring out how to make himself stop because I couldn’t. I felt so helpless and alone too.I’ve been on parent duty 24/7 since the virus. Everyone who usually helps (including his dad) is either far away and can’t travel, is a high risk person or the caretaker of one, or works in a hospital. I’ve been a single parent for about 8 weeks now, and daycare has been closed too. I love my son, but I need a break! I need just to get my nails done, or hair cut, or to go for a jog without pushing a stroller, or have a glass (bottle? -kidding) of wine and then be able to go to sleep and not have to worry about possibly waking up to nurse or whatever. (And even if places do start opening, I still wouldn’t go for a few weeks)Just needed to vent, thanks for listening. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/3cTs95E

"Teddy's tired..." - Coaxing naptime

My toddler is nearing but not quite at the stage of dropping the midday nap... If we let him skip it, he passes out around 5, misses dinner, and is up at 7 all bright-eyed and refreshed... And bedtime's at 8:30. So then it's a fight for bedtime. Just chaos. So he needs his nap still, but he's fighting it hard lately (probably out of boredom/under-stimulation from stay-at-home orders, as much as I try to play outside with him--there just aren't great replacements for parks/playgrounds, museums, libraries, Grandma's house, running errands together, etc.) My desperate, not-great strategy was bribing him with "afternoon tea" (a little chocolate syrup in his milk and a little cookie) if he took a good nap... But he would just keep pressing the envelope, and when I'd inform him "No cookie!" "No chocolate milk!", there was nowhere to go from there...So today, I overheard him tucking Teddy in while he was duncing around in his bed not-napping, and then he was walking around on his bed yelling, so I came in and stage-whispered, "Hey, Teddy's tired and trying to sleep! Look at him, you tucked him in and now you're making all this noise." And he looked guiltily at Teddy, so I asked, "Want me to tuck you in with Teddy?" And suddenly he was all curled up with Teddy making sure I tucked them both in. ♥️ I made Teddy's head nod a little with a fake snore, and the kid was stroking Teddy's head gently when I closed the door, and he's currently asleep at a decent time! Phew!What are your strategies for fighting back against fighting needed sleep? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/35etNML

I’m losing my shit...

My son is four months old and up until about a month so was so easy to work with.. a routine was happening and we were getting regular day sleeps and everything was peachy.Now? Not so much. He is usually awake by 5:30am Ashe during the day will have two or maybe three naps consisting of between half and hour to forty minutes, then he work wake up and cry and scream until I pick him up. He will be awake again for about two hours before taking another half an hour nap and repeating the process... I have tried relentlessly to get him to settle and sleep a little longer but it’s not working... I put him in his bassinet and rock and shhhh him, rub his head from back to front, Pat his chest, attempt to feed him, try to coo sleep, put music on, white noise etc etc... please help I am so so so tired and I don’t know what I’m doing wrong anymore via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/35j5GMF

My daughter thinks it’s my fault her father is in a coma

Ok so long story short I left my ex (daughters dad) because he was abusing drugs and didn’t want to get a job. That lasted four years of emotional torture towards me. Now I am happily engaged but now as my daughter grew up she’s 8 by the way /she’s starting to have hatred towards me by saying because of you you left my dad and now he’s in a coma. She’s also snotty towards my fiancé. What do I do! Need suggestions via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2KLCuos

Daycare is opening..Wife doesn't want to send 2.5yr old due to virus.

Are you sending you kids to daycare? Our daycare is reopening next week. This would be the first time our child attends ANY daycare. We visited the daycare but then in a week the lock down occurred. My wife stayed home with him 2.5 years, but recently received a great job opportunity and has started working this past month. I work from home. We've hired a nanny that works 8-hours for three days and four hours for two days. My wife is gone all day, I'm home.Our toddler is like all toddlers....he's a handful. Even our neighbors comment on how 'energetic' he is. Working in the house when he's here, even with a nanny, is so difficult. I hear all his meltdowns and there are so many. So then I go out and help. I do conference calls and zoom in my car because it's the only quiet place.My wife does not feel safe sending him to daycare. The daycare gave us a list of all the precautions they are taking (temps of parents & employees, cleaning, etc. etc.). My wife is still uncomfortable.When I tell her it's hard to do my job with a toddler, she gives me a speech how at least I have help (the nanny). For 2.5 years she did it on her own...although I did not point out she did not have a full-time job on top of raising our child.I understand her concerns and want to be sensitive to them, it's so difficult to do my job. I am the main $$$ so my job is important. Also, a nanny costs more than daycare. Our kid is one that needs other kids. He thrives in a social environment. But if we send him and he gets sick or one of us get sick, then I'll be blamed.Not sure what the best move is here.I'm in my 40s my wife in her 30s. No underlying conditions. My wife's job puts her in grocery stores all day, so she's exposed, although does wear mask. Although we live in Michigan which is a hot spot, we have around 210 cases on our county and 1300 in the county next to ours. Detroit is 3+ hours away. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2VMN8Bl

6yo feels my authority is "unfair". Help on how to handle?

So, basically, every conflict with my 6 year old son can be boiled down to him not accepting/agreeing with the premise that I, as the adult, can make decisions for him and without his agreement. He seems honestly heartbroken, almost like he is grieving his perceived loss of autonomy and he feels there is something extremely unjust about the whole setup.I am not authoritarian at all, I have raised him with a great deal of personal freedom and respect for his autonomy.The latest conflict came tonight, because I made it a rule, that he goes to the toilet and tries to pee, before going to bed. He was livid, and basically said that it's unfair I can make rules, when he can't.If this was just a tantrum in response to a disagreement, I'd just shrug it off and tell him tough luck. But this was such heartfelt sorrow and has come up before, I would like to know if this is a thing for some kids and how to support him through it. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2Yi9CvG

I'm so lost...

So I'm a mom with a 3 yeard old daughter about to be 4 this summer and a son that just turned 2! Love them to bits and pieces, I've had postpartum depression once I dealt with that I am getting therapy for PTSD which is taking a toll on my mentally. My only outlit was being able to leave for an hour or so to go for a drive grab some coffee and what not. Once my husband (now ex and current best friend) he's understanding to some degree. But with this lockdown I cant leave very much hes an essential worker so I'm stuck at home almost 24/7 with my kids. Whom I love with ALL my heart. However in on the verge of a breakdown my daughter has this attitude. We don't believe in spanking and have never done it. We've done the two finger tap on the wrist. And time outs. Which have worked up till now. She has this monotone thick with attitude "no." Quick and simple. This hasn't bothered me. But everything I ask her lately gets me this response. I'm at my wits end. I have no idea what to do. I'm afraid to call my dad and ask I think he will laugh and tell me she has my attitude. I get it. I wasnt the easiest. But I'm desperately crying for help. I have no idea how to deal with this. I've ignored her I've taken toys. I've locked her in her room starred at a wall. I've never thought of spanking this whole time when shes aweful. I've never been so close to just giving up ever. I'm grinding my teeth with frustration and I hate this feeling of resent towards her and myself. Please help me! via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2Siumj4

Why does quiet = good ?

Does it bother or disturb anyone else that quiet kids in our society automatically equal good kids? Like it doesn't matter at all what goes on inside a child's mind and soul..all that matters is how they behave on the outside. I was a very quiet kid and I can guarantee you I was far from okay on the inside..but no, all that mattered was that I was quiet and compliant. Nothing else. Then as I got older you wouldn't believe the amount of criticizing and judgement I got from people about how quiet I was. It's very confusing to someone to being conditioned as a child that all that matters is being quiet and compliant but then are ridiculed non stop as an adult for the exact same thing. Like where is the line? Shouldn't we be parenting kids the way we want them to be when they grow up and for the long term ? Not just the way we want them now? It's hard to suddenly learn how to interact and socialize when all you've ever been taught is to shut up and be quiet. I don't think it's a coincidence that a huge amount of adults are socially inept and have no clue how to open up or communicate properly with other people, because they were never taught how to open up and communicate effectively when they were little! . I know some kids are naturally quiet, and I'm not saying all quiet kids aren't good kids, I'm just saying that if kids are a bit louder and more outspoken why are those the kids that get judged so much? Naturally quiet kids or kids that are quiet from abuse are constantly praised and looked at as " good" yet the naturally more out there, loud kids are looked down on. It doesn't seem fair to me. Shouldn't it be a good thing for a child to be able to stand up for themselves and have their own opinion? They deserve to have a voice too. That's how they learn and grow. Why should kids have to go along with what someone says just because they're an adult? Not all adults know better or know what's best, trust me. Don't we want competent kids that can think for themselves? I think this whole conditioning of quiet= good needs to stop. A lot of quiet kids are probably actually very hurting and disturbed on the inside but nobody cares about that. Allowing kids to have emotions is healthy. Teaching them to hold everything in at all times and just be compliant just because , definitely isn't healthy and can lead to a lot of issues later on in life.Teaching kids that all that matters is to be quiet isn't the way to go about things. Let's start thinking critically about how we treat kids and what the outcome is. Kids deserve respect and to be treated good no matter what their natural temperament. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2zIqilZ

Parents of kids with ASD, how’s everything?

It’s very hard for us right now since I’m currently working 40 hours while dad is staying with our son (6 years old). Our son refuses to do zoom classes. He doesn’t want to see classmates or to be seen either. He also doesn’t want to do the online assignments they are given. Basically him adjusting to a new schedule without school is incredibly hard. We also fear how it will be like for him to go back to school especially because he will be starting a new school (we just moved).If you have any tips please share. Also please share your schedule. Thank you. ❤️ via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2WetFbM

Weekly - Ask Parents Everything - April 29, 2020

A new post every 2 weeks. Ask parents anything. This is a good landing place for those who have questions for or about parenting, but aren't yet parents/legal guardians and can't create new posts in the sub.All questions and responses must adhere to our community rules.For daily questions see /r/Askparents via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/3aOTHYy

Dear Teachers,

I will NEVER miss another Teacher Appreciation Day! Ever, EVERRRR.Thank you guys for teaching and spending time with my kids daily.Can you give me any tips?Last line is a JOKE. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2SzN3PN

I feel like i’m bullying my children.

I don’t physically abuse my children, I don’t call them names or anything. I find myself though being overly annoyed with them and not shying away from letting them know it. By sighing heavily or just telling them not right now. I feel like I blow up at any little thing, even if it’s just “pick up your cereal bowl! How many times do I have to tell you!” My kids seem to always slump their shoulders over, look to the floor and frown or pout.. and it’s in that moment that my heart breaks. I never wanted to be this kind of mother. I always said I would be better than my parents (who are drug addicts and never gave two shits other than to yell at me about how bad of a child I was even though I excelled at school with straight A’s all through til middle school) which I am. I don’t do drugs at all, and I’ve stopped drinking completely because I felt like it could lead to me abusing it. So what’s my excuse for making my kids feel like shit like my parents did to me? I wish I knew how to turn that part off on my brain, or to be better when it came down to getting after my kids. Someone please tell me... how the hell do I stop bullying my children. I want to love them all the time and never be angry. I understand that children have to be disciplined, I don’t spank mine, I just don’t think it helps but I feel like yelling at them isn’t making them better people either. Please, help. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/3cYOCys

Incessant talking

When does it stop?!She’s 6 and hasn’t stopped talking to take a breath or chew since she learned how to speak. No joke. I want to die.Is this normal? Is this ADHD?Help. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/3aMOHDG

How do I teach my kid to blow her nose?

I'm going to go insane through the sniffling. My almost 3 year old clearly has some blockage, but I can't get to it! She asks for tissues constantly but can't physically blow to get it out. She only wipes her nose trying to get it out.This has been since last night... Honestly it probably bothers me more than her, but any tips for what's worked with your kiddos? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/3bNFInh

My wife can't seem to cope with son (28mth boy) and I don't know what to do?

Hi, we have a 2yr old boy. And while he is very high energy, so is my wife. I think maybe he learnt (or inherited) a lot of behaviour from her. Anyway he's always been a hand full but while been on lock down I've looked after him a lot, all day while wife does work away from home. He's fine, sure he's full of beans but I set some boundaries and we play, I get things done like cleaning, baking, making lunch, making beds, cleaning rooms etc etc When we switch, I go of to do a days work. She's constantly asking me for help. She's clearly stressed. She has a permanent frown. She can't do anything else apart from run around after the boy. Nothing else gets done, so the house becomes messier and messier. She takes 20 min showers when I come in just to get away. It's stressing me out as it puts way more pressure on me. But also i knoww she just needs to take charge. She will not take any advice. So all I can do is support her, but it's just leaving me picking up everything. In really at a loss same I think things will get worse once the not starts challenging her as all kids do. She doesn't take well to difference of opinion. Sorry for a bit of rant but I'm really worried as I can't tell her anything, looking for good suggestive techniques I guess. Or maybe I'm just gonna quit work. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2YiYz5w