Husband is afraid to hold our newborn.

Earlier this year, our last baby (my husband's first) was a NICU preemie and one evening after he first came home, my husband was holding him while we watched a movie. I happened to look over and our son was grey and unresponsive. We called 911 and they resuscitated him on the spot. While they worked, my husband hunkered down in the corner sobbing. After that, my husband was really skittish to hold him, but mostly got over it with time, as our son got bigger and stronger. He’s a really good hands on Dad. But he felt personally responsible even though he hadn’t done anything wrong.We had another baby last week and she was not technically a preemie but was two weeks early and had to be taken by emergency c-section just like her brother. We all, including the doctors, had estimated her to be much bigger than she turned out to be. Not only is she very small (preemie sized clothes) she is built very slight, if that makes sense. Long, long skinny and frail looking limbs, no fat. She was able to come home immediately.My husband and I agreed I’d take primary care of her while I recovered and he’d take primary care of our son, since I’m not supposed to lift him. But even so, I expected him to hold her and kiss on her when he could, but he’s being kind of distant. Sometimes he will lean over when I’m holding her and talk to her and kiss her, or he’ll stand over her crib and do the same, but he almost never holds her. He finally told me he’s not over what happened with our son and that he’s afraid he will accidentally hurt her or worse.To be honest, there are many times he doesn’t realize his own strength. He is a big man and our house is littered with broken doors, faucets, etc because he doesn’t know how hard he’s doing something until it breaks under him. But knowing this, he uses an abundance of caution with the kids and I’ve never once had reason for concern.This breaks my heart, he’s such a good dad and he is gentle and did nothing wrong. I don’t want him or our daughter to suffer as a result of this fear. What can I do? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2zDSXWh