Wednesday, 26 December 2018

Questions for single parents by choice


Hi! So I know I'm young, I'm only 23 years old, but I'm thinking about artificial insemination. I'm not doing it now, of course, I'm doing my master's first, that takes 5 years. The thing is, I'll be 28 then and after 25 women's fertility rate starts going down. I've never dated seriously. It's not that I don't want to, I just haven't met that person and I am completely open about finding him before I hit 30. But if I don't then I don't. Anyway, I want to have a child. The cost in Finland is about 600 euros per fertilization and most of the people need 3-4 times and that's a cost I can easily afford. Of course something might be wrong but that's another problem.So I'm not that worried about having money to raise a child. I'm doing my master's in education and even if I don't get a tenure quickly, there's always a need for a substitute (I've worked as a substitute for years without the proper education). Daycare and healthcare is really cheap here. My student debt is going to be about 25 000 and almost without interest rate and there's no hurry to pay it off.What I am worried about is getting everything to work out. I would be a single mom, no one to help me. Feedings, diaper changes, cleaning, cooking, all would be on me. When the child is sick and all that. I have a good safety net of friends and family, but I would be the only parent. I would come back from the hospital alone after giving birth.And the big thing that makes me worried is that I have a golden retriever. I will never give him away, that's not an option. What about when he needs exercise and I have a 4-5 year old. I can't leave him alone, I can't put him in a stroller and he can't really go running with me.Am I just thinking too much?Anyone who has been trough this? Was it worth it? I like being single and I am happy alone, so I have no problem to live this way if I don't find anyone. But I've always wanted a child. I've worked with children for years, so I know what they need (of course being a parent is different). I feel like I could do it. I've never felt a need to be in a relationship, but I want a child. And the fact is I could find the love of my life when I'm 40, 50 or 70, but I can't have a baby then. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2QND4Hz

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