I’m just so tired of everything

Maybe it’s just been an awful week, or I’ve hit that anger stage everyone talks about, or I’m just generally feeling sour, but I’m tired. I’m just so tired of parents, and parenting, and the gatekeeping, and the culture that’s been created around being a parent. I hate it. I’m sick of it. And I don’t know why, because according to some parents, I’m not even a part of this anymore.I’m just so pissed. Mother’s Day was just as hard as I expected it to be, but in such a different way. This restaurant was offering a special offer for mom’s, and I went to get breakfast by myself, and there were all these moms there with their kids, and I felt so stupid being there. And when I was done, I asked the server if I could get the discount, and she said no, because they only offered it to mothers. I knew that she didn’t know, and she was just giving the company line, but I felt awful inside. And then, no one except for one person wished me a happy Mother’s Day, and I felt so selfish for wanting someone to say it. It just felt like I didn’t deserve it.And I’m just sick and tired of the parents that don’t think I’m a parent anymore. I’m so frustrated by the fact that my personal disaster has become a reason to strip me of one of the most important titles I’ve ever had. On Monday, I heard one of the new girls asking my coworker if I had any kids because she didn’t see any flowers or stuff on my desk. And my coworker said that I had one, but she died. And that I wasn’t a mom, so I didn’t have anything. And I was just so frustrated about it. Like, why am I not a mom anymore? Why don’t I get to be a mom to my baby? I had her. I raised her.And I feel weird. I feel weird when people talk about how hard and sacrificial it is to be a mom, and they talk about how moms are heroes, because I don’t work hard anymore. I don’t sacrifice for anyone. My daughter is gone. I can’t spoil her anymore. I can’t do any of the things that make someone “mom” in the eyes of this weird culture. I don’t do what moms do, I’m not the “hero mom” everyone wants. I’m barely even a mom. My only claim to being a mom is that I had a baby, and that’s it. Anytime I offer parenting advice, people give me this weird side eye if they know about Millie, and if they don’t, they ask me how old my kid is and how many I have, and then it gets awkward and weird.Why is everyone so weird? And so awkward? I always get those pity glances, or weird “thinking of you” messages that don’t actually mean anything. And it sucks. It sucks that no one acts like a person.I don’t know if this is for here, I don’t even know what I’m saying. I’m just upset. Sorry. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2rSKzha