Hi, was hoping to get some advice for a difficult situation.TL;DR: Holding son back in K due to emotional and social concerns, what and when do we tell him?Sorry for the long story, just wanted to give background.My son is 5, birthday in September is currently in kindergarten. Academically he is more than ready for 1st grade, but emotionally and socially my wife and I feel he isn't. He still tantrums regularly, is very small relative to kids in his class, is a little clumsy and doesn't like to follow rules. He plays sports, but clearly plays inferior to other kids, and generally doesn't seem to have as much fun because of it. He also has a self-confidence issue and gives up easily (or tries to change the rules to suit his abilities).Socially, he spends a lot of time on the "buddy-bench", engages in solo-play, or usually hangs out with just girls. None of this he tells us, we have observed it or gotten it second-hand via teachers, other parents, etc.He is very manipulative, and tends to lie a lot, even over things that don't matter...or just not tell us what is going on. For instance he was sent to the principals office because a bigger kid picked a fight with him and he stood up for himself (good for him!). But we found out about via side channels vs. through him (or the school, but that's a separate issue)When he was younger we thought he was on the spectrum due to being a late speaker (he started really speaking at 3, but he did go pretty much to full sentences). We still think he may be slightly on the spectrum which has contributed to his behavior issues; but all the doctors don't think so.Whew! Not all is negative, just laying it all out there. He is wicked smart, super inquisitive, very creative, and when he isn't scheming or lying is a wonderful sweet little boy. Clearly academically he is ready for 1st grade (he is reading and writing on his own, is doing light math) and somehow he holds it together during class, so the school isn't seeing his other side. They recommend against holding him back.All other boys that were in his pre-k class with birthdays late like him, the school placed into a Jr. K, but due to his academics they felt K was a better choice for us. We wished we didn't listen and just put him in Jr. K, but that's water under the bridge at this point.With all of his challenges emotionally and socially, my wife and I have convinced the school to hold him back. We still aren't sure if it's the right answer, but we felt there was less downside than if we pushed him through and had to do the same thing in a later grade. We've spoken to a lot of teacher and everyone outside of the ones in his school think we are doing the right thing. We asked the school to place him with the most academically challenging teacher to try and help him from getting too bored, but he is bored now with the curriculum so unlikely it will help much.*What we are really stuck with is: what do we tell him? When do we tell him? *I want to tell the truth (even if watered down a bit), and was thinking about telling him during the summer, so he doesn't feel dejected in class, or bring it up to his classmates and catch flak; but he is already starting to say enthusiastically "Going to be a 1st grader next year".Help! via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2rMD1gC
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