I cant do it anymore

I am at the end of my rope. I need advice, help suggestions, alcohol something. My middle son has speech apraxia his can say about 10 words, as of late he is refusing to go to school. Please hear me out. He is over 3 feet tall and weighs 50 pounds. My son is no small child. I often struggle to get to him put clothes on and then getting him on the bus becomes a new struggle on its own. It wasn’t always this way. He is in kindergarten now and last year he was fine going to school, mind you it was half a day. This change has occurred in the last few months. I am told by his teachers he is fine once he is there. Today I felt defeated. I carried him kicking and screaming, crawling and crying. He grabbed onto the doors of the bus then once I got him on he wrapped himself around my leg, screaming still. It kills me! I know I am not the only parent who deals with this. My oldest used to cry when I would drop him off and I would sneak off and all would be well in the world. The major difference is that I would be able to have that conversation. My middle son is trapped in a ocean of frustration. I will try anything once, hell I will try it 2, 3 and 4 times. I need help. I have tried bribery, I have even driven him to school and the second he sees the school he starts screaming and crying saying no, no, no. I will be so grateful for any advice. I am a single mom of 3. I am doing my best. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2CHotmO