(Update) My 14 year-old daughter had an incident with her (now ex) boyfriend, has asked me not to tell my husband

Thank you to everyone who weighed in on my previous post. I appreciated your insights, opinions, and advice very much. I was all over the place and really needed to hear different perspectives in order to make the best decision for my daughter and our family.I spoke with her and explained why I thought dad needed to know something happened. To be clear, I never promised I wouldn't tell him, when she said she did not want him to know I told her we didn't need to make a decision about that right away.So, we talked and I explained dad loves and cares about her too and he might be able to help in ways I can't. She was nervous that he wouldn't look at her the same and that him knowing would somehow change their relationship, but she ultimately agreed he should know about the incident. She wanted me to tell him, I encouraged her to share it with him herself but she was very resistant to that and I agreed I would talk to him. At the end of our conversation she actually smiled and said she was relieved he would know what was going on. Apparently he had already suspected something was off and asked if she was okay on Monday (the Monday before my first post).Talking to my husband was hard. It was the third time in 18 years I saw tears in his eyes, but he ultimately handled it well. He did not flip out or overreact, although he was/is angry it happened. He talked to her alone afterward and it went well, she said she felt better knowing he didn't feel any different and their relationship wouldn't change.I realize there were strong opinions on both sides, some in favor of telling him and others who thought I shouldn't, but I'm confident I made the right decision for our daughter and this situation. I'm grateful she has her father's support and I think she needed it to be honest. I understand the comments about respecting her choice but I had to balance that with the fact that she just turned 14 and just experienced a traumatic incident that impacted her judgment (I did not tell her I felt her judgment was affected btw). I just want to be clear this was and is completely about our daughter, not my husband's feelings or my personal comfort.Thanks again for your replies, you helped me navigate a really difficult situation and I appreciate it. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2E6c1xz