I could really use some advice right now. My boyfriend and I have two boys together. 3 and 1. They are extremely busy, and I'm the first to admit motherhood is not what I expected. I love my boys but there are just so many things I wasn't expecting.I wasn't expecting to be responsible for 99% of parenting and household duties. 3 years of interrupted sleep. I wasn't expecting to be so challenged that I would lose my patience. I've always been patient but with my 3 year old I just... He just pushes buttons I didn't know I had. Every day he challenges me on everything from the time he wakes up to the time I day goodnight. I've been at home with them since my oldest was born, and I'm happy I got to spend the time with them but I'm just so ready to go back to work and move forward with my life. I can't remember what it's like to have daily adult interaction (my boyfriend works out of town for weeks at a time). I thought things would be different staying home with them but I'm not sure now that I'm cut out for it. I think I might be a better parent if I had some time away from them every day. I was positive that I was done having kids, even though I always dreamed of having a daughter I just couldn't handle another boy like my two crazies. So I would never take the risk of trying for a third knowing I would be disappointed to have another boy, it wouldn't be fair. Ive been looking for a job for months and finally found something exciting, got my boys registered for a great daycare, and have been preparing for this new phase. So I went to my dentist, and doctor, etc to get everything straightened up before starting work. I've been on the mini pill and just finished nursing so wasn't surprised that my period hasn't come back.My dr had some blood tests done before I started a new birth control method.. and sure enough i just got the dreaded call. Pregnancy test was positive. I don't know what to do. I'm so sorry for ranting and complaining, I've just been holding so many things in that it's all starting to spill over. I don't even know if what I just wrote is coherent. i don't have anyone to talk to, I haven't even told my boyfriend yet. I'm just panicking, desperate for advice or anything. Someone just tell me it's going to be ok because I feel so scared and devastated right now. The idea of starting over from the beginning again.. of another year at home with them.. of trying to figure out how to pay for daycare for 3.. I am scared to death. My soon to be employer made it very clear they were looking for a long term employee, I feel it would be so dishonest to walk in there pregnant knowing I'm about to walk out on them for a year. Thank you so much anyone who has read my rant. Any words of commiseration or advice will be so appreciated.Edit: thank you so much to everyone who has taken the time to comment. Spoke to my partner, and he is supportive of whatever decision we agree on when we find out gestational age etc. Still not sure what I want to do but I really appreciate all the comments and advice. Yes we do live in Canada. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2DEJHpd
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