My 14 year old has fathered a child - what do we do now? Desperate for advice.

I need advice. Obviously we screwed up as parents, but I need help with figuring out how to proceed. This is my wife's account but she asked me to write everything.My son is 14, soon to be 15. He has aspergers and sensory processing disorder. He is very high functioning and for the most part lives a typical life for a teen.Against the odds (he's less than smooth, likely due to aspergers) he got a girlfriend in the beginning of 8th grade last year. We'll call his girlfriend "Ann". When they started hanging out we spoke to our son about consent, safer sex practices, and we expressed a desire that he wait to get physical with Ann until they are both at least a bit older. My son reacted a bit childishly at the time, seemed a bit grossed out, and brushed off any need to discuss sex further.We thought we did the right thing, had the conversation about sex, and after that didn't worry about it.Ann seemed to be a nice girl. A year older than my son but in terms of maturity they seemed on even terms. Ann has always been kind to my son and patient when he gets over stimulated. They got along well and we even met Ann's parents at a school function. They seemed like nice, average people.Six months into Ann and my son dating my son came to me and told me he had to tell me something and he didn't want me to be angry. I braced myself for trouble at school, poor grades, something along those lines. Instead he tells me that Ann is pregnant and he is the father.I could not believe it. I asked him over and over if he was sure. He said he was sure, Ann showed him the pregnancy test, and she is going to tell her parents that night.A lot of things have happened since then.Ann's parents were upset at first but quickly (a little too quickly I think) they accepted it and began actually acting excited for a grandchild. I cannot relate to those feelings.Ann and her parents would not consider abortion or adoption even considering our children's ages (14, and 15).Ann decided to keep the baby and had a healthy pregnancy and birth.My son talked about how he intended to help Ann and be a father to this child. He did not think it would be very hard. We assured him that newborn children and beyond are very difficult to raise and it would not be easy in any sense.My SO and I have been devastated and feel like we have failed as parents and failed to be involved enough to prevent this. I take full responsibility for not preventing this situation. I struggle every day to get up and face the world knowing I've failed in such a serious way.My wife insisted once the baby was born that a paternity test be done just to be sure my son was the father. Ann's parents were very offended by this and it led to some tension. My son is the father.Now on to the real issue. After the paternity test Ann's parents were offended at what such a test implies. They no longer wish to speak to my wife and I.My son was present for the (very awkward) birth and he was vocal about not wanting to see it happen and not wanting to be stuck sitting around at the hospital. We told him tough luck and that this was going to be the first of many things he's going to have to do even if he doesn't enjoy it. He said the smells and lights at the hospital bothered him (again, he has sensory processing disorder). We did not let him leave though.My son has not enjoyed holding his daughter or caring for her. Ann and her parents do 99% of the care for the baby but my son goes there after school each day to spend time with Ann and baby. He tells us he hates it. He can't stand the baby screaming and crying. He can't stand the smell of breast milk or poop coming from the baby. He had his first melt down in years while at Ann's house when the baby would not stop crying. He basically had a tantrum in front of Ann and her parents about not liking the baby.Ann's parents told him not to come back. They expressed that they will seek child support from us but do not want my son around Ann or the baby anymore. My son is thrilled to be let off the hook. We don't know how to feel.1) Do we as the grandparent's of a minor parent have to supply child support?2) Should we allow our son to just ignore the fact that he had a baby with someone and just return to normal teenage life?3) Should we take Ann and her parents to court to fight for at least partial custody of a baby that my son wants nothing to do with?I have no idea how to handle this situation and we are at the end of our rope. Everyone else involved seems ready to let my son off the hook in terms of responsibly to this child except my wife and I. But we don't know what the right thing to do is.Can someone, anyone, relate? What can we do? What should we do? I know we failed as parents but I still want to try and do what's best from here on out. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2DCxLEc