Some background: My mom and my daughter are really close. They see each other almost every day and my daughter freaking adores her. My MIL sees my daughter about once every 2 months or so (they live farther away; my parents are local). She and my daughter are also close.Also, this is kind of uncomfortable, but...my mom is an objectively beautiful woman, in a modelesque kind of way. Always has been. Normally I don't focus on this at all, by the way, but it's relevant to the title. To give you an idea, my mom kind of looks like Julie Bowen or Christie Brinkley. She's 20 years younger than my MIL and she's a current marathon runner to boot (she's in way better shape than me). My MIL is a good looking woman too, but she's 75 and looks...75. Anyway, I feel awkward even writing that, but my MIL has always been a bit insecure about my mom in all ways and it's not completely irrational, I guess, especially since my daughter thinks my mom hung the moon.The other day, my MIL was playing Princesses with my daughter, which is her favorite game with both grandmas. Like I said, they have a good relationship, but my daughter thinks my mom is The Greatest Person Alive and my MIL is currently painfully aware of that. It's consistently been a sore subject for my MIL, who gets hurt pretty much every time my mom is mentioned, let alone with the adoration my daughter bestows on her. In general, we try to redirect the conversation away from the topic of my mom when my MIL is over but I can't control everything my kid says at all times.I wasn't there for this (I was prepping lunch), but apparently, my MIL reached for the purple crown and my daughter shrieked, "No, Grandma, that is PRETTY GRANDMA'S crown! You can wear the blue crown." And I know that's what she said because my MIL immediately stood up, walked away from my daughter, and told me she was leaving because my daughter has hurt her for the last time. She was crying, while my daughter watched on, confused. I just told my MIL that we'd talk to her later as she left ("We'll see about that!" and she slammed the door). My daughter was confused and we had a talk about how talking about physical characteristics isn't a nice way to differentiate, and also about being flexible in playtime. I think she kind of understood, but was mostly pretty shaken up and sad that her grandma left so abruptly.So now my MIL refuses to talk to my daughter. This is where I'm a little pissed. She wants my daughter to call her and apologize (by leaving a message, not in conversation - she's "too hurt" to interact), and to promise to never mention my mom again. I think this is really unreasonable and that, frankly, this whole situation is kind of part and parcel with kids (i.e., don't take what a 4 year old says personally unless you want to end up rocking in a corner), but my husband is really indignant on his mom's behalf and thinks we should consider balancing out the time spent between grandmas...which would mean we'd see my mom less, rather than see his mom more (work schedules, etc.) I'm also not particularly comfortable with that because I don't think my mom should be punished for this and also my daughter is 4 years old and definitely did not mean to hurt her grandma. I'll help her apologize but that's about as much as I'm willing to offer.Am I being unreasonable? How would you handle this? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2DyTb0N
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