I am not sure where to begin with writing this but after trying to google possible answers as to what to do I cant seem to word my question correctly to get responses on what to do.I am in my mid 20's and recently married. I own one of the top building companies in my area and my wife is a stay at home mother.I grew up with a very hands on dad that loved to play with me and my sisters, took care of all of us financially...he seemed to juggle everything well.I feel like I am the complete opposite and I cant figure out what to do to not turn out like one of my friends fathers (not connected with their kids, obsessive with work, etc).Unfortunately, at this point I am so focused on growing my company and maintaining the life I've built from nothing for me and my wife over the last couple years of being married that I feel like I just can't find it in me to add in the extra "burden"(i feel horrible even typing that but its all I can think to type) of taking care of my 8 month old.It seems like in anything I do I push myself to be the best I can be, as close to the top in whatever I do, never taking "falling short" as an option.The most important thing that I know I should be the best in I seem to be constantly coming up short in.(That I am not a good father...a fact I have learned to be truth from introspection and the almost daily reminders from my wife).I know that she has it so tough taking care of the baby all day long. I feel horrible that I am seemingly unable to pick up the slack for her and it kills me even more that I cant figure out how to get better at it. This one area of my life I just simply suck at it seems like and this stresses me out to no end.I honestly can't understand how she is so seemingly perfect at everything when it comes to our son. When I cant get him to let me brush his teeth she takes him and within half a second he is opening his mouth and letting her do as she needs. No fuss.When he is crying because he wants to sleep I do exactly what I see her do, sing the same songs, rock him the same way, but no matter what I do 9/10 times he doesnt take to whatever I am doing and I hand him off to my wife and as per usual, within a couple seconds he did exactly as she wanted(in this situation, sleeps).I can go down the list of the daily to do's with my son and I fail at every single one of them.Even something as simple as taking time to sit and play with him I cant seem to do for more than 10 minutes without getting this feeling of anxiety that has me call for my wife to come and continue where I left off.I am excited for the time when I can actually talk to him. Tell him what I've learned, ask him what he is thinking...what he is feeling. Find out exactly what he wants and how he wants it to allow me to make him happy. Right now, however, I just cant decipher between the crying cues he gives and it kills me to know I am being of almost ZERO help to my wife at this time in our life.Is there any literature out there for a failure of a dad like me to read that can help me work through these issues?I am terrified that if I continue in this trend of allowing myself to distance from my son that I will end up being one of those dad's that the kid doesnt like or isnt connected with.Thank you for letting me on my soap box for a moment. Any replies are greatly appreciated as I am desperately in need of advice. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2mUjN8D
No comments:
Post a Comment