My 3 year old thinks he's grown but he doesn't know any better - How to correct this ?

My son is 3 years old. He struggles with not following directions, He has lots of opinions about how things are that he loves to share and he challenges our directions instead of following them. He has trouble following through on requests that he disagrees with.I have no doubt that many posters will jump in and say "You need to man up and put that kid in his place" but respectfully its not that simple with him for a couple of reasons.My son is 36 months old and from an early age he struggled with a speech deficit and low self confidence. Through months of therapy he has gained a lot. He has been verbal now for almost 6 months. We encouraged him to build self esteem by helping him find his center. We taught him the power of communication and encouraged him to express his opinions and thoughts. Now he is doing just that - but doing so inappropriately. For example, If we say for example, its time to go to bed - he may replay "nahhh mama - I am sorry I can't". Not right now... Perhaps you should just go to bed"We would like to follow up with appropriate correction - but we are not sure. He is not intentionally misbehaving. He is a very sweet boy . He is sensitive, in-tuned, almost never acts out and generally does not require any form of discipline(??). His intentions are not belligerent, rather he is just communicating with my husband and I as an equal. The way my husband and I interact with each other.I could scold him but I don't think he knows what he is being scolded for. I could say "dont speak to us that way " - he would have no idea - speak like what ? I am just speaking mama.He doesn't see himself as different -he doesn't recognize himself as a child. I am struggling with how to create that construct for him? My husband, doesn't see it as problem - we can always get him to follow directions - with some appeal - "but we lead with a soft approach from behind" with talks and some bargaining. I, on the other hand do not wish to perpetuate that system ongoing - he is child and I don't have time for appealing and democratic discussion all the time. Besides I can see this getting out of control by the time he is 6. What to do ?TLDR: My 3 year old communicates like he is grown - but he does not know any better - where to start ?Please note: this is a post from yesterday. The post careened with some poster calling me names and my son names - so I am reposting with a better text description. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2v7aBhj