Dad has started name-calling - is this abuse?

So recently, my husband has started insulting/calling our 3.5 year old names when he is feeling frustrated or upset with her, usually over minor infractions.Examples:She spilled a drink at the dinner table, and froze instead of picking it back up. "You idiot! You fucking moron!" was his response.He gave her a game to play that ended up being too hard for her. She got upset that she couldn't do it and started whining/tantruming about it. He tells her: "well maybe you'd do better if you weren't such a whiny little baby" - I get it. Whining is incredibly annoying. But responding like that crosses a line, in my mind.His language has been escalating like this for a while. These are the two most recent instances.This behavior is seriously concerning me, but we are in disagreement as to whether or not this is abuse. I come from an emotionally abusive household and it's setting off red flags everywhere. To me this is textbook emotional abuse. He thinks it is a perfectly acceptable form of discipline. We are really at an impasse.I have sent him articles, I have threatened to leave over it. He says he's just being a dad and that she needs to hear that she's being "dumb" or "an idiot" or she won't learn.Does anyone have any advice on how to handle this situation? How do I get through to him? This is a problem, right? Or do I need a little perspective?I really do not want to tear apart my family over this, we are generally happy outside of these instances and he is a good dad by all other measures. I just want to be a good advocate for my daughter in a way I wished someone had been for me. I am worried that this will be a slippery slope to more substantial abuse down the line. What do I do? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2u8OSFy