I’ve been married to my husband for 4 yrs. We have an almost 3 yr old daughter and I’m 8 months pregnant with a boy. I feel like my husband has poor judgement when it comes to my daughter’s safety and has done some dangerous things.For example, when she was an infant he left her alone in our condo on the 21sr floor to go get milk at the grocery store across the street. He said he ran the whole way but it made me really nervous that he would think that was at all okay. I didn’t get angry about it at the time because I knew he’d just get defensive but I was pretty deeply disturbed by the incident.A few weeks ago we saw a little girl left in her car alone and as I hovered around waiting for her parent to return I said “John, promise me that you would never leave our daughter in a car like that”. He completely flipped out at me and accused me of attacking him unnecessarily. I reminded him of the condo incident and he said he would do the same thing again if he was in that situation (which I don’t think is true) but then was furious that I would question him. I flew into a rage at this point and made a public scene saying that it was grounds for someone calling CPS and losing custody of her and that I couldn’t believe he would suggest that he’d do the same thing again. In my mind we would have avoided a conflict entirely if he’d just said “don’t worry I would never do that”.Another very contentious problem has been that he was vaping in the house and in spite of my requests for him to at least stay out of the same room as our daughter (and sending him articles about potential harms of 2nd hand vape smoke) he continued to vape around her until one day he was giving her a bath and I opened the door and the bathroom was full of a thick fog of vape smoke. I demanded that he vape outside from then on and that the next time I caught him I would throw his vaporizer away. He vaped again so I broke his vaporizer and threw it away which he was very angry about. And then I caught him vaping downstairs one evening while I was putting our daughter to sleep and I realized that this had been going on for some time. I lost it on him and called him selfish.I’m pregnant and we have a young child in the house and I’ve made it clear that I don’t want the fumes in the house. I can’t see any other reason for him vaping inside other than the fact that he’s too lazy to go out and he doesn’t really care about how it affects anyone else.He’s lied to me numerous times about the vaping inside and I also feel like I can’t trust him to keep a simple commitment or to put the well being of our children above his own laziness. He is a very loving and attentive father and husband in many ways. He contributes a lot to the household upkeep and makes sure that he spends lots of time with our daughter as well as giving me breaks because of the pregnancy. I love him but I don’t feel like I can trust him to implement agreed upon rules of safety for our kids (there are more examples like being too lazy to get our daughter’s helmet for when she rides on her scooter or not forcing her to hold his hand when crossing the street). I don’t feel like I can even ask for reassurance because he gets so defensive and angry that I would question him, We’re going to start couples counseling on Thursday which I insisted we do because I can’t trust him and don’t know what to do.I don’t feel comfortable telling any friends or family because I think his behaviour is shameful and I wouldn’t want them to lose respect for him. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2IZL0Pb
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