An unconventional conversation about consent

We have always had open conversations with our kids about sex, bodies, puberty, etc and consider those conversations ongoing. We don’t believe “the talk” is a one and done deal, so we try to inject it wherever we can.Recently we’ve had an issue where my daughter (11) has asked her younger brother (10) to stop going in her room at night. They have always been very close since they are only 17 months apart and at night sometimes laugh and watch videos or read books, etc. But she’s just started puberty and doesn’t feel comfortable anymore. However, my youngest son will still show up in her room sometimes when he can’t sleep or wants to use her iPad/charger, etc.So this week she was upset that he, yet again, went into her room after she was asleep, and took the phone off the charger to charge his iPad. At that point we gave him an ultimatum that if it happened again he would lose device time for a week. My oldest son (14) overheard and came to his brother’s defense and said “that’s not fair, she’s always telling him to come to her room so they can watch videos and I hear them talking and laughing in there and now she’s gonna suddenly say he can’t and he’s gonna get in trouble?”And that’s when I piped in: it IS fair and he will get in trouble, because this is an issue of consent!Just because somebody invites you over one time, doesn’t mean you’re invited over forever. They are allowed to tell you when it is and isn’t ok for you to come over, and you have to respect that.Anybody has the right to say they aren’t enjoying something anymore, at any time, even if they were previously enjoying it, and you have to listen and respect that and stop.And most importantly, before doing something with someone, you need to get consent, every time, and sleeping/passed out people can’t give consent.So while it wasn’t about sex because it’s not a sexual issue, conversations about boundaries and respect and privacy are ultimately conversations about consent and we have to keep having them over and over so the lines never get blurred. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2IgNpVd