A reluctant "one and done"

(Context: 37/m with 38/f partner. Considered posting to r/oneanddone, but decided to post here.)I think I may be a reluctant "one and done".I have always wanted 2 or more children. I grew up as an only child, and hated it. I was always envious of those who had that relationship with their brothers and sisters, even if it was at times strained. I am envious that I don't get to have (biological at least) nieces and nephews.My parents tell me that I was a fairly difficult baby. Cried and screamed, probably today what we would call colicky.So when I told my partner that when I didn't want one child, that I would actually prefer 0 to 1, I meant it. I never wanted my child to have to go through the same envy.Now, we have a 4 mo old. She is amazing and watching her develop before our eyes is amazing. You guys know the drill already so I won't gush on.But as you also know, it's been tough on our relationship. We are short with one another, we argue about who does what around the house, etc.We are actually in a very fortunate situation relative to most people. I am mostly a stay-at-home dad. I work about 12-20 hours/week. She is a stay-at-home mom, who did not work at all during her pregnancy. We have the financial means to hire a babysitter when we need, and we've had both grandmas visiting quite frequently of late.Yet still our relationship -- which was borderline idyllic -- has been at a head for the last two months. We argue over almost anything. We take terrible tones with one another. And we both know it.I wish we even had the excuse of a "difficult" baby. But our sweetheart is not colicky, she is okay generally being held by strangers, sleeps ok (could be better, but not that bad), and has never been sick. She generally is happiest when held and can be fussy if we don't attend to her (like most babies!) but overall she is a happy, healthy, baby. So many people deal with so much worse. So if we can't even make one work, how are we going to deal with a second?A big part of her frustration is that she "can't get things done". There are projects she wants to work on around the house, but she is always breast feeding or tending to the baby. I've offered to hire more help (i.e. get a babysitter for more hours) but she tends to turn that down and then say we don't need it, but at the same time be upset that there are "so many things that need to get done".And I know from seeing my friends that two children is more than twice as hard as one child. By the time #1 is born (causing more sleepless nights and neediness),#2 will be running around, crashing into things, and demanding constant attention. I feel like she will resent me if we have another child and the workload is too much to handle.I'm not at the point where I'm ready to be snipped, but I'm starting to resign myself to the idea that I'll only have one. At least she's an amazing one. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2KzRLqi