Help with anger issues

Hello,I have a 4 y.o. girl and a 2 y.o. boy. Things have been going on and off as I am sure most of you have been through this. Lately, the 4 y.o. has been acting out. We went through the terrible twos and the threenager which saw tempers flair a lot, particularly from myself. My wife has a more even keel but does not really do any discipline other than sit them in the corner when they do not listen.My temper, I will admit, does get out of control. I have not hit my kids as that was how I was raised and I know it is taboo. But when the 4 yo acts up, it just gets right under my skin. I carry her into her room and slam the door. I sit her down on the stairs when she is freaking out. I know it gets me going and I have taken steps to control it, particularly by just not letting it get to me. She wants to freak out, I just let it happen now.The other thing that we have noticed though is when she is playing with her toys, she is very violent in the way she speaks to them. I do not know if that is from me yelling at her when she does not listen or if it is the way other kids play in daycare?Just really looking for some advice as my wife wants me and the 4 y.o. to seek counselling and I feel as though this can be fixed before we get to that step. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2lWcAlw