My sister has had some rough years. She's had a boy (now 13 - turns 14 next week) by one father and two girls (4, and 7) by another. The boy's father is out of state (12 hour drive from where we live). The girls' father passed away suddenly four years ago. My sister has was diagnosed with depression as a teen and used drugs and drank while growing up. She had some issues with the law (mostly fraud) - but seemed to straightened up after having the boy. It didn't work out with the boy's father and he moved out of state. She met the girls' father and her life was going great and she was a functional adult until his sudden death. She spiraled out of control and then became addicted to opioids and is not the same person as before. She's been in jail for a few months and other addict recovery programs. We've tried to get her help - and it seemed like she can stay clean for a while - but will eventually relapse (we've gone through this cycle several times). I've let my sister have (borrow) my old car so she can look for a job, but hasn't been able to find one in the last two months. These three kids do not have a father - and they don't really have a mother either.My sister and I share the same father and mother with no other siblings. Our dad is out of the picture, but our mom is supporting my sister and her kids. She's going to retire soon and may not be able to financially support them. My sister and her kids lives in a house that my mom bought - but my mom lives with her boyfriend. I've kind of taken a back seat to "watch and see" how this situation is going to resolve - but it's getting worse. I will see the kids and my sister maybe once a week - this is bad and I'm trying to spend more time with them.This Christmas was a complete shit-show. My mom provided everything for the kids and put a lot of work into it. My sister did not want anything to do with it and I could tell she started using again. The house they all live in was a complete disaster and it took 3 days of cleaning - but it still looks bad. I also found out that my nephew took my car for a joyride and I have since taken the car back. My sister is obviously upset she doesn't have a car any more and now she has no way of getting a job. I love her - I just don't think she's capable of being a parent right now.I guess I have these options -1) Don't do anything. Continue to visit once a week and possibly give my car back to her eventually when I know she's not using again.2) Saturate them with love - and be over there whenever I can to make sure that my sister is not using and the house is cleaned and the kids get fed.3) Involve the state and offer to take custody of the kids immediately. This is a drastic - I don't know if this would work and am afraid it would backfire.4) Move and establish myself in another area and offer for them to move in with me.I don't have any kids and thought I'd bounce this off some parents to see what they think. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2qeLpax
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