TEENAGERS DRUNK DRIVING

Our 13 year old daughter told us kids are drunk driving and asked for advice what to do. We are really worried right now.She is the first teenager in our household and went to her first alcohol party yesterday. We live in Montana and there is a drink and drive culture here. We did not know there was going to be alcohol at the party and let her 16 year old boyfriend drive her there. They came home at 11 PM and were not visibly intoxicated, but my daughter (Amy) immediately told us that several kids had been driving home after taking several shots of liquor. When she realized the first kid was about to drive home she had asked her boyfriend (Zach) to go up and talk to him. Zack made an attempt but wasn't able to persuade the kid he shouldn't drive. Amy then asked if they should call the cops and Zach didn't know. While they were debating Amy realized more kids were going to drive home drunk and the moment passed.Amy told us she tried some alcohol but only had very little at the party. Zach drank a beer but finished it over 2 hours before he drove them home and had nothing else to drink. We are conflicted. Should we have a zero tolerance drinking and driving policy? Montana law allows children under 21 to drink as long as the alcohol is provided by a parent or guardian (and they don't drink to a blood alcohol content above 0.05) and they may drive with an alcohol blood content up to 0.02. Zach's parents buy him beer and trust him to drink responsibly. We are very liberal parents and honestly don't care if teenagers have a bit to drink, but drunk driving is an absolute no-go.We don't know if we should follow the state law and allow Zach driving her with a BAC up to 0.02 or if we should have a 0 limit. I suppose 2 hours after drinking that beer his level was actually at 0. Amy says that Zach is not the problem, it is the fact that there are lots of other drunk kids driving home from the party that may expose a danger to them. She is shocked that so many of the kids drive drunk and has a hard time "liking them" after finding this out.Amy suggested that we go to the shop and buy a BAC measuring device so they can measure Zach if he has been drinking to be sure he is at either 0 or below 0.02. We think that this will only encourage him to drive at 0.02 as he currently errs on the safe side and probably is at 0 when he drives. We still think we will buy her this device in case it ever prevents him or anyone else from driving above the legal limit.Regarding the other kids, we don't know what to do. We considered calling their parents but Amy said that would "get her bullied" and she wants to think it over. Another issue with calling their parents is we have seen these parents driving home from the pub after downing a couple of shots themselves. It's an attitude which was probably passed on down from the parents onto the kids.Amy has specifically asked us what to do next time this happens at a party. She is asking us what the consequences of calling the cops would be. She wouldn't get in trouble for being at a alcohol party as long as she isn't drunk, but the other kids likely would. Should we recommend she do this? Amy wants the drunk driving to stop, but she hates being the person who has to call the cops on a bunch of older kids. It's a difficult position to be in.We are also concerned what influence seeing these kids who are friends driving drunk will have on Amy. We don't want it to become normalized. It's not like we can send her to other parties with kids who don't drive drunk. The kids who party here do drive drunk. The holy kids who would object to drunk driving mostly aren't at these parties in the first place. We don't want to stop Amy going from parties completely as it is part of the social scene growing up. Our idea is rather to limit the amount of parties she goes to by providing lots of other activities and keeping her busy.Any advice is appreciated, especially on how to deal with the kids driving drunk. We are completely lost on that one. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2uMZVHe