This is a long and slightly rambling post. My apologies in advance.I'm posting because of a recent incident which is my main focus... But also other things/traits that I'm not clear are potentially contributing factors....or just kid stuff.Recent incident: We found out on Tuesday that my son and a classmate (another boy) have been regularly meeting to touch inappropriately. This has been going on for several weeks. We're engaged with the school and are looking for a therapist for him. The main concern here is that while things were mostly consensual, there may have been some coersion by my boy. Also, I'm freaking out because I think he's too young for this.I have suspected for a long time that he may be gay...so the fact that the other student is male has no bearing for me.Quick son description: likes attention for silliness, but isn't always/usually appropriate with his timing (class clown), fits the "right brain" stereotype, freaks out about small stuff, immature for his age, drama drama drama, cannot manage pressure (crawled under his desk at school and cried), very intelligent but barely achieving, victim mentality, BIG snuggler, needs help sharing, super creative and artsy, loved by adults, wants to do the right thing...strong sense of justice, does not understand the concept of personal space, lacks patience (totally my fault), younger brother has rare epilepsy condition which he worries about a lotThere have been other, milder 'incidents' which have been yellow flags...things that might have been a naive action or influence by a more worldly classmate. With this information shared to his school counselor...she is wondering if there may be some history of abuse we didn't know about....I'm wondering too.He's got some socialization problems. He is easily influenced to make "friends"..(i.e you can be my friend if...), and I blame this on not having a core friend group. I have asked teachers and been concerned that I need to do more (we both work and this would be difficult)...but I've been assured things are well and his after- school care program fits that need.My husband is a crabby guy who doesn't think about how this affects our son. We have 2 boys, but the other/younger is a bulldozer and barely notices crabby daddy. My husband says I coddle the oldest too much and he's trying to get him to be more responsible... And to be honest, I do let the crying win but I'm getting better and pushing him more.I tell you this because I think that his crabbiness is probably not as bad as it seems sometimes (i'm sensitive to it as well). There are definitely times that it is a problem though, and we sought some assistance for an incident ~2yrs ago (husband got his buttons pushed, and slapped son in face, left mark). Our son still stresses out when his father it's crabby, even though we have discussed many times that crabby/yelly doesn't mean violence, and how much of this is his disposition (like crawling under the desk at school to cry)?Ok, that was a huge wall of text I just put out there. I'm so sorry... It's all been sitting on my brain for a long time. Besides the recent incident... I don't know how much is normal kid stuff, and how much needs to be addressed, and how much are contributing factors.I would very much appreciate any insights. I'm struggling. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2hjjJMy
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