I am married with two kids and I hate it (x-post from r/relationships).

I don't know how to begin. Been married ten years. I love my wife and kids but I hate that I have a family. I have loving feelings inside me for each of them but a boiling pot of rage-full hate as well. I regret having children and therefore regret getting married. One kid was enough but now there are two. I haven't had more than an hour of pleasant interaction with my wife since the second kid came along. Before that it was maybe an hour a week with the first kid. Before that it was maybe half the week as married people.We've done all the therapy and it has and hasn't helped. I'm a better person and father but it hasn't cured the resentment that my own life is over and I live for everyone else. I'm always only putting other people first and getting shit on when I don't. I hate it. I fucking hate it. I'm so miserable I cry almost everyday. I've thought about medication but then what kind of life am I living?I want out but I hate the thought of abandoning any one of them. I don't want to screw up my kids or make my wife's life any harder. I just also don't want to have any of this anymore. I miss sleep. I miss quiet. I miss planning for vacation. I miss spending money on fun things. I miss a clean house. I can't for the life of me find my happy place.I thought it would get better as they got older. It has a little. It's nice to see the older one discover the world but it's fucking exhausting. So many things to explain and it's not going to end. My responsibility not to fuck them up is only going to increase as they make their way in the world. I don't want that. I don't want to have to shape them into people. I'm crying now just thinking about the amount of work and effort I'm going to have to put in just so they turn out all right. They're going to have so many trivial experiences that mean so much to them and I'm going to have to help them ride it out and give a shit when I fucking don't.I don't know what to do. If you have been through this or have any advice I'd appreciate it. I don't really need any commentary on myself (I've got therapy for that) or judgement (I have a wife for that), but if you're like me, or know someone like me, or have any helpful advice on getting through this or what the future may hold, I'll take it. Thanks and have a wonderful holidaytl;dr: I love each of my family members but hate the responsibility and day-to-day of having a family and don't know how to find my happy place. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2ih0Zdn