Need some help with a VERY emotional 6-year-old who resorts to violence when his feelings are hurt.

Greetings! So my wife and I have two children, 9 and 6. Our 9-year-old girl is terrific. She's very empathetic, compassionate, selfless and really thinks about others.Our six-year-old son is also amazingly loving. He experiences emotions very, very deeply. It is not unusual for him to follow my wife, daughter or myself around hugging us and just saying over and over, "I love you so so so much!" It's really clear to us that he feels this deeply.That stated, ANYTIME we have to correct his behavior, or suggest a way he can do things better, or inform him his behavior is not acceptable he has a massive freakout. He screams things like "you don't even love me!" "you hurt my feelings so bad just now!" "I was so happy today and you just ruined it!"Also, it is not uncommon for him when he gets his feelings hurt to resort to violence. Once his sister hid from him playing hide-and-seek and he got genuinely worried he could not find her. He started panicking and crying and finally she jumped out and startled him. He was so angry that she "made him feel this way" he jumped on top of her and started hitting her.Just today, they were playing a game and he lost and she started celebrating so he started crying and in anger grabbed her throat. Each time my wife and I have been there to intervene, thankfully. Each time we try to explain to him, "You HURT your sister" he always responds with "I SAID I'm sorry!" But it always seems like his primary consideration in all things is his own feelings. I have had many talks with him that he's not allowed to do whatever he wants whenever his feelings are hurt. But it does not seem to be sinking in. If I'm being honest, I'm frankly alarmed. To me, this seems like potentially spousal-abuse type behavior when he's older. My wife is kind of downlplaying it with "Dude he's a boy. Boys are aggressive and combative." Her statement is, we just need to be consistent in our message to him that his behavior is not acceptable and there will be consequences, along with emphasizing empathy.I would very much appreciate the collective reddit wisdom. Please and thank you! via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2aBw73Y