Is this normal parenting or is this weird?

A bit of background to explain our living situation: My husband has two kids from a previous marriage. They are 11 and 16 years old. I have been married to my husband for two years and we have been living together for a year before that. My stepkids live with their Mom and stepdad in a different state.My husband and his ex still have a lot of issues and are struggling to coparent. His ex does not share medical and school information about kids and disregards his opinions on their medical treatment or education options. For the most part he doesn't oppose her because any conflict means losing regular access to his kids. When they are with her, he is only allowed to talk to them on her phone and in her presence. When they are staying with us she has full access to them via their phones (she got them those) and the laptops we got them.We see them one weekend every month and on holidays and for summer. /backgroundEx doesn't like me having any closeness with the kids. They aren't allowed to talk to me when they are with her. One time I emailed my stepkid asking about enrolling them in summer activities when they are with us and signed my email as "love, myname." She got very upset at the idea of me expressing love to my stepkids. She demanded that I not email her or the kids and I don't want to rock the boat so I have acquiesced to that.Whenever the kids are with us she sends them a package as gifts. It's usually dollar store stuff, like a small toy and chewing gum, nothing significant, the cost of mailing is usually more than the cost of gifts. We don't say anything about it and it's none of my business but it makes me uneasy and I am not sure why.During this summer visit, my stepkids got a package with candy, gum and a letter. It's the usual deal but my 11 yr old stepson showed me the letter from his Mom. It's a cute little note written in colored markers on construction paper. What made it weird to me is that the back of the A4 size paper is covered in "i love you" written like fifty times. This is a handwritten note.Am I a cold hearted 30 year old who doesn't understand a mother's love or is this legitimately weird? I am not going to do anything about it but I want to get opinions from other parents whether this is something I should worry about. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/298W0WQ