I recently took on temporary guardianship of a 15 year old girl who is a relative who I will call "Anna". She has a mother who is simply not able to care for her at the moment but that overall is a decent parent, although Anna's home life has not always been great. Mother voluntarily gave me guardianship and can revoke it at any time.Anna has had a boyfriend for 3 months who is a couple years older. Her mother was worried and wanted her to go on birth control pills but Anna insisted she wasn't having sex, wasn't ready to have sex and that her boyfriend was okay with waiting.Since she has been with me, everything I hear about this guy/relationship sounds unhealthy. I think he is a kid with lots of problems himself. He tells stories (grandiose) that I don't believe are true but he has her believing he is some guy that every girl wants and she is lucky to have him. When I ask about what he likes about her - she compares herself to his ex-girlfriends and the things he tells her about how she is better than them.She said a couple things tonight that worried me. I get the sense that he is taking advantage of her being younger and looking up to him in love with puppy dog eyes hanging off his every word. She also gets actual anxiety is she isn't texting him constantly, as though the relationship is dependent on constant contact. She is madly in love with him, going to be with him forever, he is the only person who has ever understood her or cared about her etc.So tonight after she went to bed, I looked at her phone. She is having sex with him and throughout the texts asks him frequently for reassurance that she f**** him better than all his ex-girlfriends. Her language throughout is crude and raunchy. (She never talks like that ever in person). Interestingly, his language is pretty clean. He however has been sending her dick pics, videos of him masturbating etc. She also constantly tracks who he is with and asks repeatedly if he is talking to any other female and refers to all his female friends as skanks, whores and bitches. Partly because he often texts about hanging out with girls (making it seem like he has no choice or can't stand them). She is very insecure throughout the texts and also very needy.So where to from here.... While I am disappointed in her choice to have sex, I am more scared about the fact that she seems to be doing it to try and be better than the other 'girls'. The whole relationship is even unhealthier than I thought from what I could see.I feel I need to talk to her for sure. We have already had conversations about my concerns about this relationship. I am not sure if I should come clean that I looked at her messages or if I should ask her to show me her phone and look at whether or not the messages are healthy.Also I am torn about telling her mother. If her mother finds out I knew and didn't tell her, she will revoke the guardianship and likely never let Anna come to my place again. It is a tenuous relationship we have now, and me knowing things about Anna and not telling her is a definite hot button issue. If she finds out from Anna or anyone, she is going to be very angry and likely make some rash decisions / consequences (like Anna can't leave the house for 2 months or change her school). She actually doesn't really care if Anna is having sex but she gets very upset over Anna lying or Anna making decisions without first telling/consulting her.Just for context, where I live, there is nothing illegal about a 15 and 17 year old having sex or sexting. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2a0g6pN
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