Friday, 22 July 2016

Adult Daughter and Age-Appropriate Friendships?


Quick recap: I posted here a few weeks ago about fostering more independence in my adult daughter (26) and was overwhelmed by all the responses! The general consensus was get her back into therapy and guide her into living on her own (possibly with roommates). We're working on both, but some concerns have come up.I think I mentioned in a comment that my daughter, Rachel, doesn't really have any friends in the area. The friends she does have live out of state, but to my understanding they don't keep in contact much. She seems to get on well enough with her co-workers - she even house sat for one - but she isn't close to them - or to anyone, really, outside of the family.With the last part, however, my husband and I realized that she needs to start making connections with others her own age if she's going to thrive. This is where we've hit a wall.We've tried encouraging her to join meet ups or hobby groups, but she says she doesn't like sharing her interests with others (which is true; she even only talks about them to us superficially). We've encouraged her to go out more, because she never seems to leave the house unless for work, but this has had mixed results. She leaves when we ask, but she does it only because we're asking. She doesn't see the point in, for example, browsing the bookshop if she's not looking to buy something, or going hiking (which she loves doing with us) alone.We've pointed out she can invite other people (not us) to do things with, but she's completely disinterested in the idea. I guess I shouldn't be surprised; this is the same girl who once told me she turned down an invitation to hang out with a co-worker by saying she had to take a nap. Plus, when my husband spoke with her about his hopes for her to find friends who will do anything for her, she said we (her parents) were those friends.Fellow parents, I'm starting to worry even more. It's been a fear of mine she'll break down once my husband and I pass, and now it seems very likely she's going to truly be alone for the majority of her life.I know therapy is the answer to many of our concerns with her, but can it fix this? Is there anything we can do for her as her parents beyond what we're doing? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/29ZZ4qp

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