20 year old daughter is spoiled and a bully.

Hi all.Me and my wife have one daughter, Emily. She's very pretty and smart, she was a straight A student and is studying medicine at one of the country's top universities. However, there is one issue that has been bothering us for a while. As much as we love her, we must admit now that Emily is extremely self centred.We know that it's entirely our fault. We were both very young and stupid when we had her. We did do our best to teach her right from wrong, but often we were very sympathetic towards her when perhaps we shouldn't have been. Looking back, there were times when we let go of a punishment because of how upset she was, and didn't follow through with a threat because she swore she was sorry. Obviously we now deeply regret this, and all I can say is that we were young and stupid.Although she did very well at school, there was a bit of an issue when we were called in and told that Emily and a group of girls had been bullying another girl, posing as a boy online and convincing her to send him pictures, and then spreading them around the school. Obviously we were furious, but she put on the waterworks and convinced us to let it go. She was also suspended for being caught with alcohol and cannabis in school, but swore that she wouldn't ever mess up like that again.It's summer here in the UK and we always go to visit my sister up north for a weekend, which we did. However, this year Emily asked if we can bring her boyfriend, Adam with us. She's been on/off with him since school days and my wife can't stand him. We said no, and she threw a huge tantrum and stormed off. It was so loud that we had the neighbour knocking on the door thinking a fight was taking place.Anyway, so we went to my sisters place, with Emily sulking in the car the whole time. My sister has a daughter, Olivia who is 13 and a great kid. However, yesterday we all thought it would be nice to let Emily and Olivia hang out in the garden. However, when I was helping set up the barbecue I overheard a bit of their conversation. Olivia said she'd love to be as pretty as Emily one day, and Emily's response was to tell her she'd need money and surgery to be anything more than ''ugly''. Olivia started crying and ran into the house. I thought that was a disgusting thing to say to a 13 year old. Olivia obviously told her parents and they were furious with her, and so were we.Emily did not apologise for her comments and insisted she was just joking. She then tried to cry and say we were all blaming her unfairly. We weren't having any of it and decided it was best to go home. We slept the night, then said our farewells to my sister in the early hours of the morning and left. My wife was still very angry with Emily and actually shouted ''Get in!'' to her as we got into the car, and by her reaction she was scared.We got home not long ago, and are at our wits end with her. She's finished uni for the year and is going to be at home until September. We love her so much and know that we're the reason she's like this, but even so, we'd like to do something to help her become a better person. We've talked about therapy but haven't brought it up with her yet, because we don't know how she'd react.Advice? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2yZscxN