I am in shock and sorrow as I type this. I understand ultimately it was my fault for leaving them unattended, but it is hard fighting feelings of resentment towards the boy.My dog and the step-kid were pretty good friends and loved each other every time they saw each other. They would sleep together and shower together the 3 days a week we have him. But this boy has had a history of being a little to rough with animals, in the 4 years I've watched him grow. We had an incident at 6 with our new kittens being carted around by the neck to the point of choking, and severely expressed to him that is NOT how we treat those with no voice. But 6 is young and we figured maybe he didn't understand.I know hindsight is 20/20 but there were smaller incidents with my beloved pup, once I sat and talked with his father and our Roommate. Things not necessarily malicious, but rough play in nature. I'm horrified to admit we kinda giggled about it at the time, because this dog was tremendously spoiled and really did love this kid.I had surveyed the front yard around 3pm to make sure all was well, as I check on them every 15-20 minutes to make sure no mischief is being gotten into (if they're quiet they're most likely doing something). It was hot outside, so I allowed him to use the hose in the yard “only on the soaker and mist settings” and an old leaky Coleman cooler whose locking and plug mechanisms snapped off long ago (I had personally checked to make sure he could at all time pop out it before I even let consider letting him use it as his “fort”). This was because we had problems with him using the jet setting to spray passing cars and animals, or dig up my flower garden. I had come back in after a peep and was distracted for about 20 mins instead of the usual 15... How I curse myself for not keeping to the schedule. My wonderful little pup might be alive today.The boy comes in the front door and yells for his father, who was in our room fixing our AC. I was in the kitchen so I got to him first and I see my dog's limp body dangling about. I run over asking what had happened and he starts screaming “WE were playing”. I tried to pump the water from my dog's chest by leaning him to the side and give slight CPR since he was so little. But you could see the life slip from his eyes as his body relaxed in my hands. I lost control of my mouth for a second and screamed at the boy that he'd killed my dog. His father threatened me not to talk to his child like that and struck me. I was belligerent and crying and this set me off. Horribly, we fought in front of the child. I am horrified. I come from an abusive family and will be damned if someone thinks they can strike a person just because they're bigger, but my biggest fear is becoming exactly what I came from.My Husband was trying to get me to apologize to his son using force. I couldn't believe the audacity. Am I in the wrong? I know my actions were terrible, but I was in a state of panic and loss, and screaming at the boy was the split reaction as I saw my little friend become no more. I cannot have my own children, as I have faulty genetics that I refuse to pass on. These wonderful little life forms are my children. And he wanted me to apologize to his 8yr old for words? The one who was the fault of the accident, be it by malice or misadventure?Reddit, I don't know what to do. I was reassured the boy is remorseful on the way back to his mothers, but watched as he played in the yard as we laid my little doggy to rest. I don't know if I am just seeing things there from resentment, and I know you shouldn't resent a child for accidents... but what if it wasn't an accident? I will now have to look at this child in a different light, and I don't know if that's right. I can't trust him around animals again, and have demanded he be placed in counseling for evaluation. I'm a mess inside and our Marriage has hit a serious bump because of this incident. How can I get through to my husband that sometimes we need to look past our love to see if there are any red flags? How do I trust him with any new information that I may observe? How do I squash these feelings of resentment that are growing for an 8 yr old boy?RIP my beloved Houdini via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/298CBdd
No comments:
Post a Comment