I think this is a very serious and important discussion that has to be had in as many places as possible. What with the way this whole 'debate' is taking place on the internet, with the political environment and the strategies and tactics of activists in academia and (growing) in public schooling, the mounting pressures on parents and especially kids' peers in their social spaces as well as the internet (Tumblr, Twitter, etc) itself, I think it is a major, major mistake to encourage or be mum on this issue of a child's sex -- especially with the fleeting flights of fancy children and especially teenagers feel during puberty in discovering themselves and all of the biological, hormonal, and identity changes they're going through.Gender expression and sexual attraction is one thing -- but the subject of a child's sex is another entirely. Amongst others, this is one such example, and the popular (relatively new) actress (bisexual and genderfluid) actress 'Ruby Rose' is another, with the story of how she wanted hormone therapy and a sex change, but is very glad she grew out of it and expresses herself as she does, now.As a parent of a boy (1 yo) and a girl (4 yo), this is something that may come up, and I think it's good for us to be prepared and be armed with information and stories like this to handle it the way this parent did -- the responsible way.Some snippets from the piece...There was no magic answer. We rode it out. I learned something about keeping my mouth shut. About saying my piece and then leaving it be. About living with uncertainty. We didn’t cater to demands for instant gratification. We paid for and encouraged activities that would get her out into nature and off the Internet. Mostly, we waited.We drew a clear line in the sand: There would be no money to pay for a gender therapist, testosterone, or a binder. If she wanted to pursue those things at the age of medical majority, that would be her choice—and it would be on her dime. At the same time, we let her know that her clothing and hairstyle choices were hers to make. Not always successfully, we tried to calmly and sparingly convey the message that however she dressed, whatever interests she pursued, she was a female—perhaps an unusual one, but a young woman nevertheless, who might someday become a role model to show other girls just how amazing and truly expansive a woman can be.Like many who read this blog, I phoned gender therapists during the weeks after her announcement that she was trans. Without even meeting my child in the flesh, all four of these therapists talked to me like this trans thing was a done deal. I wrote about one of those conversations here.All these therapists seemed well meaning enough. They believed they were doing the correct thing. But with each conversation, I felt more and more uneasy. My gut feeling that something wasn’t right led me to research, to question…to put the brakes on. And the more I read, and thought, and understood, the more determined I became to find an alternative. I started this blog out of sheer desperation. I needed to find someone, anyone, who understood what I was going through. I needed other parents to talk to—badly.My kid never did go to a gender therapist. Never did sit in a room full of “trans teens.” If she had, I feel certain she’d be sporting a beard right now.When I first started blogging, I got a lot of hate mail. In every anonymous drive-by comment, the hater referred to my “son” who would grow up to hate my guts. “He” would surely commit suicide, and more than one of them wished me a lifetime of misery when that inevitably happened. Even the mildest posts resulted in hostile reblogs from strangers who had not the slightest idea of my family’s situation.http://ift.tt/2xFlrwp: Just as I suspected, where at first the votes were steadily creeping up and were a majority poisitive, here comes the down-vote brigade. Can't let anyone easily see and be able to consider counter-examples with this issue. Amazing -- and extremely telling. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2iQCzf7
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