Montessori, Waldorf, Public School - Does the type of schooling really matter in the end.

I am now a SAH to a son who is almost 4 years old. He is quirky, smart- cognitively on track but about 12 months delayed in maturity and extraordinarily sensitive. He also has a significant speech impediment.At the age of 2 he entered a well regarded daycare program. He did not thrive - he became sad, and withdrawn. When I picked him for his last day - he was sitting alone by the playground fence peering intently through the wires at the lines of cars - looking for me. I decided to stay at home with him and quickly set out on a journey to research schooling methods to find one that would be appropriate for him.After much research, I landed on Montessori approach. What could be better for a unique child - however, the total cost for 2 kids over 8 years and commitment is HUGE. Is it really "better". I continued my research through Waldorf ( seemed okay), Public School (?), Private christian (similar to public only private), Charter (like public only serious like a job and $$$). Home school (do kids learn more from the collective experiences of society than from books at home?)Finally, exasperated. I toured the small local church daycare/preschool. I spoke with the director whom was very well regarded for her directness. After she sat with my son awhile. I asked her to reflect on the different programs and options - she replied.Kids are Kids.. no matter what - no matter where - Programs are programs - Some are great some are not as great. At the parent level each child is unique with a unique set of factors . But at the 10,000 foot view - the city has thousands of kids that all have to go somewhere. The kids are all just kids - whether from the projects or from CEO families they have about the same behavior- same developmental path - they all play with the same toys.There is only a slight variation in outcomes with the approach. Everyone's kid eventually has to learn the same material - at about the same time . They all have to have some distressing experiences inevitably. They all face about the same social challenges - inevitably. Each program, whether common or non traditional, has the same objective. Regardless of whether they back into it, or teach it head on, or teach it passively, or teach in hushed tones or teach it gently in the light- they all have to find some approach to deliver the same curriculum to a large group of kids - one way or the other.So now I am wondering if all this consideration and research and spinning over small details and approach in attempt to get the best situation for the child is just a lot of pretentious ado about nothing ?Any thoughts? Experiences, stories, rumors ? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2vThYIC