How to help husband manage his frustration around child's tantrums?

This morning everything was going well - we actually got to sleep in till six instead of five, child was generally in a good mood while we were getting ready .... until ten minutes before we had to leave. Then he started crying and tantruming, including hitting his head on the cabinet and tile floor (he has not yet learned that they hurt when he flings himself down) which just made him even more upset. I was able to adopt a "suck to be you" attitude when my initial attempts at calming him down didn't yield anything. My husband started off well, soldiering on with getting our kid ready for day care while I finished getting myself ready for work. Within a two or three minutes though the screaming was obviously getting on his last nerve. He raised his voice at one point (not quite yelling) and told our son to "Shut up. Just shut up!" as he was trying to get our son dressed. When we were in the car it was a little better - our son had stopped crying for whatever reason - but my husband was obviously still worked up, driving more aggressively than he normally would. When he gets mad/frustrated, it takes a while for him to get back down to normal.I get that people aren't their best when dealing with a screaming wriggling child and I don't hold the "shut up" stuff against him, I'm just using it to illustrate one particular instance that his temper was getting away from him. In my own mind, I heard that and thought "You just lost this battle. The toddler is winning." (Is that wrong? Tell me if that's wrong.) He just wants our toddler to act like a normal, rational person. Our toddler is nineteen months old, we've got a lot of irrational behavior ahead of us and I want my husband to be better prepared to deal with it.Any suggestions? For him or for me? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2k3tfTP