Going to try to make short and to the point! But I suck at that and writing posts. Sorry if it’s rambling.My SO is 38 (m) I am 31 (f). He already has a son who is now 18. We had OUR baby #1 (f) in 2016 and baby #2 in 2018 (26months apart). Bf has extensive background and other dumb shit which FORTUNATELY is in the past.2 weeks ago he couldn’t breathe at work. He wouldn’t leave work so I MADE him an appointment at a urgent care (more like reserved spot). I MADE him ask for an X-ray. At first the PA was like oh respiratory thing. Then, after she got the X-ray back they were like oh it looks like the “start” of COPD. Mind you he is SHORT OF BREATH... they did not give him any medication there, tell him to go to ER, or give advice except see your PCP. This is a FRIDAY. I can’t get him in to PCP till Monday. We cried all weekend, didn’t fight, tried to make him rest (HE IS RIDICULOUS...he will not rest but bitches about not resting). He did quit smoking cigs and vaping, but got chew (yuck) Monday rolls around and we see PCP, gives prednisone and albuterol. Still having trouble with shortness of breath for several more days. I educate him how to properly use inhaler and it seems to be working better. Yey.. but his work uses chemicals which probably exasperate his symptoms.Now... here I am. (Yes I feel selfish for saying this but it’s the reality of it). He didn’t really want anymore kids but I think if it happened he would of been like whatever... he was already going to die before me (if nothing crazy happened lol) now this just sealed the deal and he is thinking he is dying in 3 years. He freaked out this weekend was OUT OF CONTROL, thankfully my mom has the kids but bc he decided to get shit faced she had to keep them again bc I work 3rd and he was not going to be in charge of them. All I can picture/imagine/think and obsess about is alllllll the shit I have to deal with when he dies, having to tell the kids (and dealing with the LIFE LONG ISSUES THIS CAN AND PROLLY WILL CAUSE THEM), STRUGGLING TO GET BY, getting more/better life Insurance on him, NEVER HAVING ANYMORE BABIES, what happens if he loses his job... so many more things I can’t even think about them right now....At this current time his dad is dying and his one grandma... his mom died from cancer when he was 17. He has serious issues.What do I do? Where do I begin? ( I do know with the life ins it’s better once the flair up is ended and we have some stability for a year or so... but not much more than that)TLDR; bf who is “young” gets possible diagnosis of COPD, we have 2 kids, I’m at a loss of grieving no more kids and him (before he is even gone and before we have a real diagnosis) wtf do I do to prepare for our future l!? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2mQqj0L
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