Help with my toddler who pees herself to "be in control"

So to preface, I have a 3 year old DD. We're waiting for an appointment to determine if she's in the autism spectrum - they made me do a test before referring her to a clinic I've yet to hear from.So here's where I need advice: When my daughter gets upset she'll pee herself. She's potty trained and knows to ask to go to the bathroom (she'll only wear diapers at night now). I know it's a control thing because there have been instances where I've asked her whether she needs to go to the bathroom and I get a negative answer... Only to have her pee herself when I "punish" her for not listening (we count down from x number with her arms to the side and every 10, we tell her what was wrong about what she was doing and why). She also blatantly looks at me and tells me things like "I pee myself".If you've had to deal with a similar situation, what have you done to avoid this/rectify it?I usually have a change of clothes on me for her, but they're meant for accidents. This entire thing is maddening and generally unpleasant for us both (because I get mad/upset with her for not listening and peeing herself, and she'll start crying despite having tried to assert her control over the situation).Please help. I'm at the end of my rope with this issue. It's been going on for far too long, and I'm just tired of her not listening to me. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2Pbbq1r