When Dad is the bully

My husband (47M) teases our son (6) and calls him names. It starts playful but at some point, my son gets his feelings hurt by a name or unrelenting teasing and it ends in tears. He's sensitive and just gets really frustrated. He does the same to our daughter (9) but not nearly as much and she doesn't get as affected.I've had many conversations with my husband about how this is harmful and erodes my son's confidence. In his distorted view, this is toughening him up. He may hear me a little but always reverts back to this taunting and it's daily now. He grew up like this, but his father was mostly absent or not engaged. The older male figures in his life were his uncles who are just a bit older and acted like big brothers. Back then, he was the sensitive kid (like our son). But he's totally modeling what he knows at my son's emotional expense.I just think a parent should teach respect and acceptance and that home should be free of this kind of emotional picking, especially by your own parent. I intervene at times, but that can result in either an argument between us or more teasing directed at my son. It really, really bothers me and I'm starting to think that it happens more in my presence because it's an indirect way of getting at me. It's like he's an annoying teenage brother instead of their father. I've seen him get mad that the kids don't listen to him (when he decides he wants to be an adult) and I see that they talk to him in ways they would never speak to me. But it's confusing for a kid when their parent is part time bullying peer and part time ineffective disciplinarian.We don't communicate much anymore. We are nearing a divorce (for many bigger issues) and I dread the thought of this behavior continuing within a shared parenting arrangement. Part of the reason for our split is that his behavior in the marriage has been disrespectful, hurtful, and emotionally manipulative to me.Anyone else co-parenting with a bully? Is there a chance he can consistently parent as a mature, loving adult? Thoughts on parenting classes? I want them to have a healthy relationship with their dad, but I don't have a lot of hope that he's capable of treating them as they deserve.ETA: I wrote this in the middle of the night so didn't provide tons of examples but my son's reaction and well being is what I'm concerned with. I also didn't get into details behind the split because that's not appropriate for this sub. But I've been beat down emotionally too. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2l2ANsv