It's the same thing every year. He doesn't pay attention, doesn't do his work while his classmates are working, needs multiple daily reminders to pay attention and stay on track. He gets up and walks around the classroom during class time.I was told he goes to the bathroom 5+ times a day for 15-20 minutes at a time. When the teacher sends a kid to check on him he's sitting on the floor by the sinks or playing with the water. Or, just wandering the hall not even in the bathroom. This has been an issue since grade one. He's been to a doctor twice at the school's suggestion and he has no issue with bathroom related functions. He's just hiding in the bathroom so he can goof off. He's said so. He doodles or talks to himself and laughs to himself. His classmates are already asking to be moved away from him, like they have since second grade. He rarely turns in finished work and often doesn't hand in anything at all. It's been a month and the teacher already had to clean out his desk after school and found weeks worth of unfinished work. He was given packets to complete for half credit but "lost" them before he even got home.When we talk about how he needs to pay attention he cries until snot runs down his face and says he wants to do better. He once promised he would behave in class and then literally the next day we got an email home about him wandering the hall and lying when he was asked about where he was supposed to be. This was last year.He's very much the kind of kid that if you're not standing right on top of him making him work he will slack off. He stayed back in first grade so he is the oldest in his class already.It kills me to admit that the only year he got good grades and no emails home about conduct was third grade. That year my husband insisted on spanking him when we got emails from the teacher. Three spankings later and he stopped wandering the halls and turned in his work. He said flat out he was afraid of being spanked which broke my heart. He shouldn't be afraid of his parents hurting him. I made my husband stop the spanking.Since then it's been down hill. Fourth grade his teacher was really kind and took an interest in him. She spent a lot of one on one time with him and have him a LOT of chances. At the end of the year she suggested having him screened for aspergers and adhd. We went to the introduction with the psychologist and he said that with the first meeting my son seems not to have adhd or aspergers but needs more discipline. My son will still be tested but in the mean time I need to find out what I can do that is discipline but not spanking.We've taken screen time away before but it did not change his behaviors at all, he's not big into tv or video games. He reads a lot but I'm not going to take away his books. That seems wrong to inhibit a child from reading. We've offered rewards like trips to the movies and special desserts for good grades and no emails home about conduct. Didn't work. Any time we talk about doing better or consequences for bad classroom behavior my son cries like a toddler until he's covered in snot and moaning. He's 11 and at this point I want to tell him to man up a little and listen to what I'm saying. I don't say that, I try to remain empathetic and I help him calm down. But it's the same thing every year. What do I do? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2xTqbAP
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