My oldest son turned 4 in December. He goes to a 3 day per week preschool (starts K in Aug. 2018). On and off over the last couple years, I've had his teacher tell me he has issues with "transition", doesn't clean up his work centers before moving to the next and if we can work on this skill at home.However, my stress level significantly increases when I try to improve these skills because I can't get him to listen either! For example this morning, he ate a bit of breakfast (because he made it himself), then he picked up a couple of robot toys and started playing with them. I told him that he still needed to brush his teeth and put on his shoes before we get into the car to leave and that he had 5 minutes to do these things. (the 5 min. warning is suggested for kids who struggle with transition). Well, he didn't stop playing and flat out ignored me when I told him, "ok play time is up, now it's time to brush teeth. Would you like to take the robots with you?" After the 3rd time I asked, I got to his level and turned his face towards me, told him AGAIN and then he reluctantly went to his bathroom taking his toys. He stood up at the sink STILL playing with his toys. So, I put his toothpaste on and brushed his teeth for him, because it's got to get done for obvious reasons. Then I gave him a cup of water to rinse, and he kept the cup to his mouth and wouldn't put it down. Made eye contact with me in the mirror and grinned. He does this power struggle often--showing that "I'll do whatever the hell I want to do". I got so mad that I grabbed the cup and squeezed it so hard it broke, lol. I didn't harm him. (Obviously, I know I shouldn't have done that). He just said, "hey you spilled water all over the place". I took a deep breath and calmly said, "ok I'm cleaning this if you'll go put your shoes on now". He didn't, just stood there so I had to pick him up and carry him to the spot where the shoes are. He did put ONE of them on but did it SOOOO slowly, that I gave up waiting and did the other one. I am about to go insane, and I know I need to work on my coping skills as well. Usually, I take a deep breath and walk away and that helps. But, I was embarrassed with my cup grabbing behavior this morning. It's not just me, I see my husband's patience wearing thin every single day with him too. The last few days I've felt too depressed to do anything around the house. I feel like throwing in the towel and letting him do whatever he wants. But, of course I'm not actually going to do that because that's bad parenting so I keep on helping him with stuff while silently going insane. :/There are SOME improvements though. He used to not eat AT ALL for breakfast so his breakfast used to be a fruit bar or fruit in a ziploc bag in the car on the way to school. This morning, he did mix up a bowl of yogurt, honey, and fruit and ate about 1/3 of it. I told him how proud I was and all that. However, if I let him do everything himself, we'd seriously take 2 hours to go anywhere! The whole breakfast ordeal took up about 45 minutes of our time.I really want to enjoy my child but I often feel more stressed out, especially if I'm trying to get him ready to go someplace. If we stay at home, he just wants to watch shows all day. (I stick to a 2 hour limit). He does love craft projects but I don't want to play preschool teacher all day long. I usually do a craft project with him on his non-school days and then get him started on playing with a toy so I can do a chore like laundry or dishes, but soon there's fighting with his 2 year old brother. ugh! This makes me feel tempted to let them watch TV all day so that they'll just stop fighting! I am constantly telling them how to behave properly and suggest taking turns, etc.Another separate and more minor issue, is that his part time preschool is a church and we're not religious. His program used to be called a "mother's day out" program. The mother's day out as of last month is now simply called "central child care" and now under the control of the other regular day care program which incorporates more religious teachings, which means my children are going to have chapel days and more exposure. My husband and I are almost wanting to pull them out because of that, but any other school is going to be twice the cost! And, I'm certain I will lose my sanity if I keep them at home with me all day, every day.tl;dr: I need tips on getting my 4 year old to listen and take action when it's time to do certain things such as brush teeth, put on clothes, shoes, etc, rather than ignore me and continue to play, or laugh and run away. Tired of power struggles! Have already tried positive incentives such as treats and sticker charts. Does NOT work! My already high stress level increases more when I get reports from his preschool teacher that his behavior was not appropriate at school and give us "skill homework". Makes me feel like I'm a bad parent when I'm already trying very hard. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2kAMl4C
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