School lunches and friends.....how to proceed?

Hello! I've posted once before on this sub regarding my daughter's friends. Short version of that post was that we invited her friend over to play and their mother sort of invited her other daughter to the play date. Sweet kids but had some different behaviors that we hadn't dealt with before. Examples were asking for my daughter's toys (to take home), asking for extra food to take home when the play date was over and the girls telling their other family about our house and all of our "nice things". This lead to the friend giving out my number and I suddenly had other children calling to play who I had no idea who they or their parents were and my daughter only vaguely knew them and never invited them herself.I tell you that because this situation has to do with the same friend. At the beginning of the month we go through the school lunch calendar and my daughter picks days she'd like to eat at school. It's usually only about 5 days a month and I put a little extra for her to get a popsicle/ ice cream on those days she eats at school. Now her friend, I'll call her D, and her friend's cousin, we'll call her J are in the same class as my daughter. The two girls get free lunch but that does not include the treat. So, they have started asking my daughter to buy them ice cream with her account money.Now, we have had talks in the past about not swapping food for health reasons (allergies, germs, etc.) but this is not the same. My daughter is afraid they will not be friends with her anymore and I am concerned about them taking advantage.Now, with the previous encounter I did what some of you suggested and sort of eased away from further play dates and put some distance but this is now happening at school. I told my daughter when I added money to her account that she is only to use it for her food and that the other girls would have to just ask their parents for money if they wanted ice cream. That it was up to their own mommies and daddies not her or I.I guess I'm just looking for validation here. I absolutely want my child to tell me if she sees someone going hungry or wants to help that person if she sees there is a problem BUT wanting a treat is not the same thing as going hungry. I'm just at a loss to explain financial status in a way that will help her understand and be sensitive to others situations. Also, looks like I'll need to have the wants vs. needs conversation with her. If anyone has any suggestions I am all ears. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2l13oK3