To the lady who posted saying she doesn't want to become an abusive mother (you deleted your post!)

You wrote a post about 30 minutes ago saying that you hurt your daughter and you are afraid of becoming an abusive mother. Someone commented some totally USELESS comment about you being a shitty mother. You are NOT a shitty mother, because you are trying to fix this problem before it gets worse. Spanking your kid one time and ACCIDENTALLY banging her hip on the doorframe taking her to her room is not abuse. You lost your temper, which many mothers do. I'm not saying that losing your temper is okay, but you can GET HELP.Look up and see if there are any anger management courses in your area. I know my city has some that are specifically tailored to parents, and one that is actually just for mothers. You can also do online anger management therapy if you can't get out of the house. A lot of it is about learning to control how you think - i.eAction occursYou interpret it with your thoughts (positive, negative, uncontrolled)Feelings resultIf you can intercept the process at the 'thinking' stage, you can help with the feeling part. Working through these issues in this way is called cognitive behavioural therapy. Let's look at the scenario you were in.The action in this case was the water spillingThe thinking/interpretation was probably "Omg the iPad is broken, she is so reckless, that damn baby I can't believe she did that" or maybe even you thought that she was doing it on purposeSo, the feeling that resulted was angerSo let's pretend that things went differently and you did things differently at the 'thinking' stage. For example:Action: water spillingThoughts: "It was just an accident, she's just a baby. She doesn't know what she's doing. Let's clean up. If the iPad is broken it's not the end of the world".Feelings: mild annoyanceThe same event happened in both scenarios, but your thoughts about the event created vastly different feelings as a result. Thinking like this takes PRACTICE, but it's a very useful and widely-used therapy technique to deal with depression, anxiety, and anger. You will also need other anger management techniques like slow breathing, getting fresh air, distancing yourself from the situation. If you can learn those techniques you can use that 'breathing' space to THINK about the situation and try to frame your thoughts in a positive/neutral way so that you don't have intensely negative (angry) feelings.EDIT: Thank you for the Gold, /r/parenting mods! via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2aomVDE