My 16- month slapped me and I slapped him back.

I feel horrible, I feel like I don't deserve my son, I said I'd never hit him, ever, yet I did. He woke up at 5 this morning, way earlier than usual, then later my husband and I had an argument during which he turned to our son and said: "mom's being a bitch again", which upset me greatly because I don't want him talking to our baby boy bad about me no matter what. So I flipped out on him. He went to work and my son and I continued on with our day, and at one point he slapped me so hard across my face and ear that I had tears in my eyes. He noticed the shock on my face, and I firmly told him NO, yet after a few seconds he did it again, and again, and then I held back his arms and slightly slapped him back on his face. I hate myself for this, I am so against any type of violence against children and I did it, I slapped my child in a moment where I lost myself. He's very smart, understands a lot, comprehends many things, so I guess I thought he'd understand what NO means in this case, and that a slap hurts, but I failed to realize that he's still just a baby who can't get it all right away. I want to die right about now. I didn't have a great childhood and am scared that I will turn into my parents, and this morning was proof of it. What should I do? How do you handle a child hitting you? Please forgive me. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2fd2ZkF