My son cut contact due to his stepfather.

I divorced my ex husband when my son was 11 years old. We had 50/50 custody. I remarried to my current husband two years after that. My current husband and my son didn't get along to say the least. Even when I was dating him they remained aloof with each other. My son was anxious in interacting but was still respectful towards. My husband saw dealing with my son something he signed up for if he was going to continue to be in a relationship with him. My husband still kept his distance from my son. Things got worse after we got married My husband would avoid my son when he came to visit. He soon started criticizing him and became harsh with him. It could be occasismally getting a snack from the fridge without asking or sometimes forgetting the lights on of his room. He said I should cut down my visitations with my son. I asked him why does he hate him. He said he doesn't hate but dislikes him. He hates the fact that he's introverted and awkward. My husband said he it's already enough that he tolerates him. He kept antagonizing my son. He would say things like he should he get a job during high school cause he is going to be out of the house at 20 at best. I always stood for my son and admonished my husband in private and told my son not to take it seriously in the heat of the moment. My husband laid off my son when I got pregnant with our daughter five years ago. By that time my son felt alienated. I admit I always prioritized my relationship with my husband over my son. I made more effort in spending time with my husband than my son. Whether it be doing our daily Friday date nights going out as a couple only every other weekends. We did more couples only vacations in a year than family vacation la not including the occasional weekend getaways. I understood this made my son feel second place. But my son didn't understand that eventually start a life of his own but my partner is still going to be with me. Yes, I could have spent more time with him but no parent is perfect and it's always a struggle to keep a balance. My son was became distant from me and focused on his studies more. That paid off at least since he got a huge scholarship for our flagship state university. He relied on student loans to pay the rest of tuition. He cut me off the day he was supposed cone back from winter break. He cut me off by email. He wrote this:"Dear mom,I don't want a relationship with you anymore. Your love holds little to no value to me anymore. I don't resent you for divorcing dad. I don't resent you for finding love again and wanting to get remarried However, these past years I've learned a important lesson. I've learned that the relationships one holds onto plays a role in their identity. You can't say you love me more than anything in the world yet love a man who treats me like an unwanted burden. I resent you for making him my stepfather. I resent you for making me treat someone who hates me being around like an authority/parental figure even though he hasn't earned it. I resent you for always choosing him over me. Don't call me anymore. Don't visit me. I have a great life in college with new friends. I guess I am not the "weirdo with no friends " that the shitstain of a human being who you call your husband anymore. And I still have dad who loves me'."Goodbye forever.That message still haunts me. I tried calling and blocked my number. When I attempted to visit him he wouldn't let me in his dorm and finally threatened to get a restraining order. That's when I backed off. My mother (his grandmother) is the only connection I have to him and my sister's Facebook. My mother was the one who told me he was double majoring in mechanical engineering/physics and he was currently doing a PhD in physics in an IVY League. My sister allows me to login to her account to see pictures of his life. When I saw his graduation pictures with only his dad invited or pictures of his friends, I just burst into tears. Can still get him back? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/30umPix