Background: My 12 year old nephew, we will call him Billy, has been caught stealing again. He used his mother’s credit card without permission to buy $300 of Madden points. (He bought as many as he could until he was caught) This is not the first time this has occurred , about 10 months ago he did the same thing with a different video game and stole $250, to buy in game items. (Lost Xbox for 6 months) Before these events occurred he would sneak onto his grandmother’s amazon account to buy digital movies and tv shows without permission. He steals food from his sister, he has been caught twice stealing jewelry from his mother to give to girls he has a crush on in school. He has on 2 separate occasions stole cash from his mother’s pocket book as well.When confronted he just lies and lies. He knows he is caught, we express that dishonesty will only make things worse. It doesn’t seem to matter. He seems incapable of telling the truth.His father is a massive loser who has nothing to do with his son or daughter. He abandoned Billy when he was 6 years old. His father remarried and had all the step children taken away by CPS due to his abuse and neglect. He has very little contact with Billy, and while that’s a good thing in the long run, it is very tough on Billy emotionally. He misses his Dad, however he is aware of why he can’t be with him.Billy doesn’t have any friends really. He attends a small school with only 6 other classmates in his grade and gets in constant trouble for being rude and obnoxious. He has alienated himself from his peers significantly. The teachers do their best, and he gets a lot of 1 on 1 support but they’re getting really annoyed by his constant misbehavior.I am his uncle, but really my role is much more significant. I live next door so I am always involved in the day to day. Every Sunday Billy comes over to watch football and he plays in our family fantasy football league. I took him to a Boston Celtics game (his favorite) for his birthday and we sat court-side where he got high fives from all the players. I speak with and see Billy pretty much everyday. I have pep talks with him on strategies for his behavior and things he can do to change negative habits.All that said, this latest theft ($300 for a video game!) has everyone very frustrated. All he cares about is getting stuff, is rarely thankful, and holds gifts in such low regard most are purposely destroyed within days. He ruined his sisters minecraft world she spent weeks on for no reason at all.No one wants to give Billy Christmas presents now. We are all so fed up. I have about $500 in gifts for him, and I’m thinking of holding them until his Birthday in May. His grandmother also feels the same, and doesn’t know what to do with the iPhone she bought him that he has wanted for years.I’m worried about the resentment and heartbreak Billy will feel Christmas morning as his sister gets all her gifts, and he gets far less. I’m worried about his self-esteem and how he may lash out. However, I’m also worried about continuing to reward his bad behavior, and that his constant theft and lying has no discipline. Am I wrong to take away his presents? Will this do more harm than good? We don’t know what else to do. He sees a therapist regularly, but that has little effect. Sorry for the long post. I wanted to include as much detail as possible for better understanding. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2Q4rTtH
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