Baby's father doesn't want to sign the birth certificate, but still wants some degree of access to baby. What would you do?

Hey, r/parenting. This is a bit long, but probably still entertaining.​It's actually quite a complicated situation that has been going on for months, but I will try to sum it up as best as possible. We were seeing each other over a 4-month period while I was studying overseas. I learned that I was pregnant a week after returning home and told him. He didn't explicitly push for an abortion and said that he would like to support me either way, but it was pretty clear that an abortion was what he was hoping for. I understood this as a baby also wasn't in the cards for me at this point in my life, especially given the circumstances, but ultimately I decided to move forward with the pregnancy, and am now 18 weeks pregnant with a little boy.​Of course, baby's father has been less than supportive. Earlier in the pregnancy he would text at least weekly to ask how everything was going, ask if I knew the gender yet, etc. He has been cooperative with supplying any family medical history that he's aware of and never outright ignores me when I reach out to him for something, but it's pretty obvious he isn't into it. Still, he won't specifically say whether or not he wants to be involved - just that he can't give me an answer right now because he doesn't know what he wants and that I'm being too demanding. Over the last couple of months, communication has been cut down to pretty much nothing.​We did meet two weeks ago to talk in person while I was doing some traveling abroad, and he told me that he resents the situation and feels as if this is something that is being forced upon him, but said halfheartedly that he'll visit sometime next year after the baby is born. He seemed concerned, or at least feigned concern, and asked me how the pregnancy is going as it is high-risk, and made me agree to stop working when and if my doctor tells me to. Still, what he said didn't sit right with me, and after returning home and having some time to adjust it, I reached out to him and asked if we should also consider him not having anything to do with the baby - a topic that hasn't really been broached or outright mentioned until now. I wasn't saying that I wanted him to have nothing to do with the baby, I just wanted to make him aware that I wasn't "forcing" him into anything. He responded a week later saying he would prefer not to register anything unless it seemed really important or stupid not to do so, but he didn't know what the reasons would be for that.​Him not wanting to acknowledge his son legally but still wanting the right to visit him rubbed me the wrong way, so I got a bit snarky. This is the same thing that my father did to me and my mother, and I do want more for my own child. I told him that just generally being a decent person and acknowledging his son is reason enough to sign the birth certificate, but that I think he just really doesn't want anything to do with him but doesn't want to outright say it, and that he doesn't have a place for him in his life and that he deserves better. I told him that he has two options with this: #1, he can establish paternity with the intention of getting to know his son and make an actual plan to do so instead of just saying he'll visit him eventually. #2, he can choose not to establish paternity, which is his right, but I 100% will not allow him access to him at any point should he ever have any desire to meet him. I told him that wasn't a threat and that I'm not trying to bully him into signing the birth certificate, but I can't allow him to keep my child on standby for X amount of time in the event that he may one day fit neatly into his life. I told him he's either in or he's out, but there's no in between. You can't have your cake and eat it too.​He apparently didn't like this, and responded that I really leave him speechless when I go completely mental like this (?) but that he's getting used to it (that's good, at least). He said we have different views on what being decent means. To him, it's about taking responsibility and only putting life on earth when you are qualified to do so and can offer a good childhood. He said that if I want to keep going on my insane "with us or against us" strategy, he also doesn't want anything to do with me. He said he just hopes that I wake up one day and realize that life is not just black and white, and that I'm basically just telling him to piss off, so it is what it is.​I responded telling him that I wasn't telling him to piss off, but that he had said that he felt this was something that was being forced on him and I just wanted to let him know that he had the right to choose not to be involved, but that he should know what making that decision means. Once he closes that door I am locking it behind him, and if he wants rights later on down the road he will have to petition to the courts. I am not sure if this has anything to do with child support and him being legally responsible, but right now I have bigger things to worry about than pursuing overseas child support payments, and there really is no desperate need for it. All I know is that my son deserves better than an off-again-on-again dad, and if this is how he is going to be, then he can do better.​Parents, what would you do in this situation? I have debated ceasing all contact for the remainder of my pregnancy as I really just don't care for the added stress, and just contacting him when the baby is born - but I'm not even sure if he deserves that at this point. I would like to completely cut ties with him, but feel guilty at the thought of me officially being the reason they don't have a relationship. Advice? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2Q7R6U7