9 year old still soiling himself at home!!

I have completely lost patience with this problem. He was completely toilet trained and aside from one or two incidents, everything was fine until about a year ago. He started having 'accidents' after school, and it slowly got worse. There's not been any sudden stressful event that I know of which could have triggered it. I've taken him to the doctor twice, which is unbelievably embarrassing - they say there is no medical reason and it is behavioral, but they don't offer any help.The worst part is that he is fine when he's at school or staying with grandparents or at friend's houses. It's only when he is at home with me. I have tried talking to him about it, he has no answer and doesn't seem at all worried or embarrassed by it. I tried reward charts, punishing and taking away games and so on - nothing works.I spent most of this weekend quietly asking him if he needed to go to the toilet and took him there to try, but it still went in his pants. Even his younger sister is aware, she comes to tell me that he smells.I'm totally lost on what to do, surely I can't be this much of a failure. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2JhpJzW