Possibility of giving up custody and analysis of repercussions

Hi. This is obvs a throw account. I had my son at 19. I've been a very successful parent for the last 4 years. I have always known I've had mental health issues, but just recently started seeing a therapist on a regular basis. I was just diagnosed with ASPD (I guess more generally known as sociopathy), and will say that I don't think I'm an extreme case by any means. I'm very self-aware, and am cognizant of what I have to lose. I am the custodial parent of my child, and his biological father (until recently) lived nearby and had custody every other weekend. His father just moved out of state about a month ago. I have now realized that a lot of my good parenting was a show for bio father and also a means of manipulation. I know that I have been lax since he has been away. He still does video chat with our son often. I don't mean I've been abusive or neglectful. Just quietly resentful. And not as attentive as I know I should be as a parent. I also know that bio dad is 100% warm and loving and is a step parent to his wife's 5 year old (she is an amazing mom and a very cool lady). I have told him I've been in therapy, and he has told me he is ready for any choices I need to make. I am married, and while my husband has always made an effort, he is definitely the weaker parent of the two of us. I think a large part of him would be secretly relieved if kiddo went to go live with bio dad. At this point, I am worried that because I cannot emotionally engage in the way he needs, I will somehow make him emotionally damaged. Or, my behavior does become neglectful with no one here to hold me accountable (my husband travels a lot for work and works nights when he's home) over time. My parents and my husband's parents will both not understand and will feel like I am a very shitty person, I mean, I'm willing to admit I kind of am. But I also feel this is more of a greater good type of scenario. I asked in another subreddit, but that just ended up with some people trying to re-diagnose me or dumb stuff like that. I think I need objective opinions from other parents. I guess I'm just not sure if I'm being irrational or jumping to conclusions, or if this is really a good idea that I should continue pursuing? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2wlZT6D