DS2 was born 7 weeks ago today. For at least 3 generations, women in my family have struggled to breastfeed. The extreme effort I put into nursing with my first sent me into a deep depression which it took me ages to recover from, even after I stopped trying to nurse before he was 2 weeks old.This time I've made it 7 weeks with a combination of pumping, nursing, and nursing with an SNS/supply line. I've seen two different lactation consultants. Sometimes it's enough. Last weekend he got 4 oz in one feed just from me! But the very next day he got less than 2 in a feed. I'm taking allllllll the supplements; I don't even want to add up how much I've spent on herbs, drinks, cookies, and gadgets trying to make EBF work. Even with the SNS I'm still spending 9+ hours a day with a tiny human attached to my tits and he's barely getting the amount of nutrition he needs. The last LC we saw wanted me to decrease how much he was getting supplemented, even though he barely got more than an oz from me while in her office. He needs ~24 oz/day per a dietician.Today was my breaking point. He'd seemed hungry all morning, so he barely napped, and he wasn't getting enough from the SNS. It shouldn't take an hour for him to get 2 oz, not to mention the constant choking on it. So after he'd sucked my boobs dry, I got into one of my registry freebie boxes, washed a bottle, and fed him with it.I thought I'd feel guilty, but I feel better than I have in weeks. He's now sleeping soundly in my arms and his tummy isn't audibly rumbling for the first time in days. I thought he just had gas but now that I know how much he drank I wonder if I wasn't starving him by following the IBCLC's advice.I'm not sure where we'll go from here, but whatever path we take I refuse to feel guilty about it. Fed is best, mamas and daddies. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/34K6zNj
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