I want to talk to my son one day

Hi all,I am a father of a two and a half year old boy. Please let me share my story. My wife and me really wanted to have child, as both of us went to hell and back with our private lives, before finding each other. We were blessed with healthy boy, more than two years ago. Sometimes immediatelly looked strange with him. I described it as if he appeared mentally much older than his age. Hi didn't act like other babies and he had strong opinion about everything. Then we realized that he doesn't try to imitate us, and that he doesn't really care about eye contact. He progressed physically really well, but, alas, he didn't learn to talk. He was very mischievous. He could understand "no", but he always does his own way. Once he really did a serious mess in our temporary apartment, so I snapped and spanked him in rage. Please don't tell me how terrible person I am. I am more than aware of it, and I want to chop of my hand because of it. Especially after he was diagnosed with non-verbal autism. There is just one word that he knows and it is "daddy". He is calling me, he sometimes runs in circles laughing and flapping his hands when I come home from work. He means a world to me and I cannot imagine my life without him. But I always dream that he is talking, then I cry out of joy in my dream, but then I wake up into reality. Sometimes my brains does nasty tricks to convince me into thinking that it wasn't a dream, such as dreaming that I am dreaming, and then I wake up next to my talking son, but I don't realize that is still a dream.I just want to talk to my son one day. I want to appologize to him for spanking him that time, and then I want to listen to him, to learn what does it feel like to live in his own world. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/36mT8UN