My response to the AAP's newly published study

on spanking, yelling and corporal punishmentThey like to say that "kids these days just need a good ass whoopin'" Did anyone ever stop to think that maybe this generation of kids is messed up because of they way their parents were raised? And their parents before them? Why is hitting children justifiable simply because we were also hit as children?I am coming to terms with my own parenting; I have spanked. I still do sometimes. I try not to yell (but I do) I'm human, and I'm still learning. Science is telling us that corporal punishment is bad for the human psyche, and I think we need to acknowledge that. When I do spank my 3 yr old, it happens because I am frustrated with whatever behavior/situation is going on. And I'm realizing that that's just not fair. It's just plain lazy.I think that once we start looking at children as people who are not fully developed (in ALL aspects) instead of charges that need to be whipped into shape, humanity will be one step closer to evolving.Let's do better by our kids. Humanity has emotionally evolved in leaps and bounds in the last few centuries, heck, DECADES, and I think it's time we let go of our hangups, guilt, and traditions in favor of doing the best we can with the new knowledge we have.To make this even longer (heh) let me end with this story. My 3 yr old son was having an absolute meltdown the other day because X (he's 3, pick something ridiculous) It got to the point of him yelling at me, screaming "no," crying, refusing to listen, you know how it goes. After 20 grueling minutes of this, I remembered to try something that my 11 yr old daughter's therapist had taught me. I started tapping his shoulders alternately, while asking if he needed a hug. He said yes, and then the REAL tears started. He fell into me and bawled his sweet little eyes out. I began to cry too. I felt SO guilty. This sweet little boy was overwhelmed by his own emotions and didn't understand why he couldn't have a second popsicle, or whatever this particular fit was about. In the end, we both apologized to each other. He told me that he was sorry for yelling at me, and then told me something through his sobs that broke my heart. "Mommy, it hurt my heart when you yelled at me." That's when I realized how upset I had been, and remembered that I had in fact been yelling at him. I told him that I was so sorry for yelling at him and that I would do better. And I've been actively trying. And I think that's where we need to start. Let's try to be the best parents that we can be, because there is always a better way. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2UhvPFp