It has been 2 months since my OP. Little baby is sleeping next to me right now. A few things have happened, nothing major really but I need to work out some things in my head and get advice on them. But before I get into it, I just wanna give a shout out to single parents. I got pregnant at 17 and my boyfriend left and never came back so parenting alone is all I know. But I’ve been having the baby over the big holidays and it’s just so isolating. I hear my neighbors outside lighting off fireworks, I have limited social media but still know people are getting together having fun. My friends have their own lives. Having my 8 year old is one thing, but something about the baby makes me feel so alone. GRATEFUL. But I just want to remind everyone that you’re effin (can we cuss here?? Lol) rockstars and one day you won’t feel so alone and to seek out other parents.Anyways. I’ve had baby twice since my last post. Once for 4 days and 3 nights, this current time 2 nights and 2 days. Her grandmother is her main caretaker. She quit her nursing job to care for baby, because it was that or baby goes to foster care. I ran into her in a bar (small town Iowa, happens a lot) last weekend and she told me a few things I didn’t know. I’ve never wanted to ask too many questions, I don’t like people to think I’m nosey. She told me that baby’s mother, M, robbed her other daughter. The daughter that has been helping care for baby. So her own sister. Grandma told M to never come around again. Previously, she was showing up sporadically to shower and “see the baby” then would take off. She’s obviously on drugs. Then gma said something to the effect of “I don’t want her to go into foster homes, but really I don’t know what to do”. Apparently if M doesn’t meet everything required of her (so far she’s blown it completely) then baby goes up for adoption once she turns 1. I’m sure gma would be first choice but if she doesn’t want to take on custody then I’m not sure.My boyfriend broke up with me pretty out of the blue not long after my post, so adopting baby “with” him is out of the question. He’s the only reason I know all of these people though. I want to adopt her, I’ve thought about it a lot, but honestly I can’t afford it. Mostly, daycare. There is no damn way. I need to find the right people to talk to about whether I could foster and get the financial support to make it doable. The whole state lines thing could be difficult since I’m in a diff state. I work for the family business which I will be inheriting in a few years, it’s very successful and I plan to expand it a lot. It’s extremely feasible as it’s a niche. So in the future I do plan to be plenty capable of supporting another child.I just wanted to give an update, I got so much support from my post and I’m so so so thankful for it. Thank you to everyone that commented. I feel lost and helpless but y’all have pushed me to do what I think is the right thing for this baby. Developmentally, she’s doing great. Despite being born dependent on 3 substances, she’s completely on track. She’s SO curious and busy and happy! Oh my goodness she smiles so much and just wants to explore this world. I keep looking over at her sleeping and just bawling lol. One thing I know for sure is I couldn’t handle fostering her and having her taken from me for some reason. But for now she’s doing great and all I can do is offer to watch her as much as possible, and evaluate what my options are. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2wCPSVc
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