Advice Wanted - Supporting the Wife

First time poster to this group...We have 2 children, the first is 2, the second is 7 months old.We thought things would get easier as the kids started sleeping through, but honestly things have gotten harder, we're arguing more and things are just getting more stressful in general. The kids are getting up at 5:30 every morning and our 2 year old has had this terrible habit of doing a poo in her nappy then sitting in it for 30 minutes without saying anything. Potty training is not going well.My wife bears the brunt of this. She's at home on maternity leave, I go into work.The problem I think she has is that she never gives herself a break, she never is able to put herself first when she's at home alone and she feels like crap for it.Now I know what I'm doing isn't helping, I'm telling her she needs to take a break, she needs to just put the kids in a safe space and go get her shower, get her breakfast, whatever it is. But this just riles her up and she says she has "no choice", I say she always has a choice. I find it hard to turn around and say "I know things are tough right now" because she'll retort with something like "well you get a break, you should be doing more, you're going into work", I just don't know how to deal with this.Is there any advice as to what actions I can take, what I can do or say to help her? I don't get what I can do from work but I know I could probably approach this a different way and say something else to her. I'm just a bit stuck and I hate seeing her so upset. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2hk0MKd