My wife and I are separating and I feel lost. We have three kids.

To preface, I'll (33) be attending therapy soon, she (32) is as well, and we will be starting marriage counseling as well.This might get longish. Sorry for the throwaway, some friends know my main account and I have only told my best friend who isn't much of an internet citizen so far.It's been a long and bumpy road. I'll spare you most of the details and jump straight to this: I don't want a separation, I want us to work together, but she feels differently. She feels it'll be best to work on ourselves and heal before we heal together. Maybe hers is the right way, I don't know. But it's happening. (Btw, no abuse or craziness, just a lot of "we got married so young, didn't have a chance to truly grow up, grew into very different people, I was depressed and distant for a while and kind of abandoned my (our) faith, she grew distant and had an emotional affair, etc")We have three kids - seven year old girl and five year old twin boys - they're all so sweet and they're very distinct in personality, preferences, everything. They're talented and fun and smart and beautiful. They can be very frustrating. One boy might have ADHD. The girl can be very insecure. The other boy would play Marvel Avengers on Xbox all damn day if allowed. We both love them dearly. I just have no idea how and when to tell them what's happening. Or what to tell them.The loose plan is get the house ready to be sold (wife wants a new start in a new house when/if we get back together) and put it on the market in January. She'll go live in the bonus apartment above her parents' garage and I'll be doing what I can to find a smaller rental house in our current school district. The kids will stay with her Monday afternoon through Friday morning, will get off the bus at my place that afternoon and stay with me through the weekend and I'll take them to school on Monday. We still plan on doing things all together as a family and everything, but will be living apart.I could go on. But I really need some advice and to hear stories of how this played out for others. Any separated or divorced parents (we're not getting divorced... at least I hope not) that have gone through a similar thing successfully? How do we tell our kids? WHAT do we tell them? How do we make this transition easier for them?Please help. Thank you. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2gsHTCS